Since I quit smoking, almost exactly three years before Emer was born, as soon as I thought I might be pregnant with Linnea, I have never once regretted my decision. I had, after all, been trying to quit for most of the time I'd been a smoker.
But sometimes I really, really miss them. I watched a woman in the cafe rolling a cigarette from a brand of tobacco I never even liked and I wanted it. The smell of ready-rolled does mostly make me slightly queasy, but even now, after two pregnancies, I sometimes enjoy the smell of real tobacco.
This is presumably the nature of things - when one gives up an enjoyable habit, however sensibly, one wistfully wishes to indulge in it just once more.
But me and smoking are not like that. I can't have just one. If I have just one, I will have many, many more.
But I still want them, sometimes.
But sometimes I really, really miss them. I watched a woman in the cafe rolling a cigarette from a brand of tobacco I never even liked and I wanted it. The smell of ready-rolled does mostly make me slightly queasy, but even now, after two pregnancies, I sometimes enjoy the smell of real tobacco.
This is presumably the nature of things - when one gives up an enjoyable habit, however sensibly, one wistfully wishes to indulge in it just once more.
But me and smoking are not like that. I can't have just one. If I have just one, I will have many, many more.
But I still want them, sometimes.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-16 08:22 pm (UTC)The only thing that stops me, sometimes, is that if I have a cigarette
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-16 08:22 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-16 08:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-16 08:42 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-16 08:58 pm (UTC)Thing is - I like the taste of tobacco, quite a lot. Interestingly, as I have in recent years come to work in places and move in places with no smokers, I these day really dislike the smell. If I get to stand next to a smoker on the platform waiting for the train, I move away.
But I'm lucky, I guess. I can give in, nick a smoke off a friend, smoke it, and not touch a cig for the next year. One does not lead to many for me. 5 years ago or so I would sometimes buy a pack when going to a party were I knew there would be smokers, and smoke all of them in one night - and then not smoke for 6 months. I've stopped doing that, though - it stopped being fun.
The craving is getting less and less in recent years, but I think that has a lot to do with being less exposed to smoking now.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-16 10:50 pm (UTC)Strangely, however, I LOVE the smell of a wooden match being lit.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-17 03:54 am (UTC)I smoked 2 cigarettes one evening about 30 years ago and was ill for a couple of days; I've never smoked since. The smell makes me heave and wheeze. An extreme reaction to smoke was also a symptom of early pregnancy for me - even a diagnosis, one time.
I am currently preparing to redecorate my daughter's bedroom, as she has moved away. She was a 'secret' smoker - she thought I didn't know. Her room, her clothes and even her books all stink, so I have to limit my time in her room.
My addiction is cheese; which, as I am intolerant of milk products, is not useful! I avoid it as much as I can, but every now and again I will have a slice of pizza, or attack the block of strong cheddar in the fridge.
I don't think there is a 12 steps program for cheese.
Timing!
Date: 2007-07-17 09:00 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-17 10:20 am (UTC)That's the reason I never started -- I knew I'd never stop.