Smoking

[ailbhe]

Since I quit smoking, almost exactly three years before Emer was born, as soon as I thought I might be pregnant with Linnea, I have never once regretted my decision. I had, after all, been trying to quit for most of the time I'd been a smoker.

But sometimes I really, really miss them. I watched a woman in the cafe rolling a cigarette from a brand of tobacco I never even liked and I wanted it. The smell of ready-rolled does mostly make me slightly queasy, but even now, after two pregnancies, I sometimes enjoy the smell of real tobacco.

This is presumably the nature of things - when one gives up an enjoyable habit, however sensibly, one wistfully wishes to indulge in it just once more.

But me and smoking are not like that. I can't have just one. If I have just one, I will have many, many more.

But I still want them, sometimes.

Comments

[micheinnz.livejournal.com]

I have one drag every couple of years or so, and even then it's a struggle to give the thing back to its owner.

That's the reason I never started -- I knew I'd never stop.