On communication

[ailbhe]

I have often been bitten by this one, and it's just happened again.

When I feel strongly about something, I say so, calmly. This leads 50% of people to totally ignore what I've said, and a further 25% of people to assume that I must not feel strongly about it. (Numbers pulled out of the sky, but it feels like practically everyone, at least right now).

In the past, I have gotten around this by determining which actions will communicate Emotion X to my interlocutor, and emoted it until the message got across. This often left me tired, angry, and covered in tearstains - or with a raging headache, if what was needed was to work myself up into a rage.

I am not naturally a screamer at people. I don't burst into tears when someone has upset me. I don't even go away and cry privately. It's not how I do it. But many, many people assume that unless a woman "looks upset" she's not really upset. It got me into a lot of trouble with doctors about two years and a quarter ago.

Is the answer to go back to putting on an act when I'm talking to people? I hated that; it feels like lying.

Comments

[aquaeri.livejournal.com]

I think this is a common problem for people who can stay calm when in a bad situation. I don't have any suggestions, because I can't always put on an act, or at least not "the right kind" of act.