On communication
Aug. 3rd, 2006 11:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ailbheI have often been bitten by this one, and it's just happened again.
When I feel strongly about something, I say so, calmly. This leads 50% of people to totally ignore what I've said, and a further 25% of people to assume that I must not feel strongly about it. (Numbers pulled out of the sky, but it feels like practically everyone, at least right now).
In the past, I have gotten around this by determining which actions will communicate Emotion X to my interlocutor, and emoted it until the message got across. This often left me tired, angry, and covered in tearstains - or with a raging headache, if what was needed was to work myself up into a rage.
I am not naturally a screamer at people. I don't burst into tears when someone has upset me. I don't even go away and cry privately. It's not how I do it. But many, many people assume that unless a woman "looks upset" she's not really upset. It got me into a lot of trouble with doctors about two years and a quarter ago.
Is the answer to go back to putting on an act when I'm talking to people? I hated that; it feels like lying.
When I feel strongly about something, I say so, calmly. This leads 50% of people to totally ignore what I've said, and a further 25% of people to assume that I must not feel strongly about it. (Numbers pulled out of the sky, but it feels like practically everyone, at least right now).
In the past, I have gotten around this by determining which actions will communicate Emotion X to my interlocutor, and emoted it until the message got across. This often left me tired, angry, and covered in tearstains - or with a raging headache, if what was needed was to work myself up into a rage.
I am not naturally a screamer at people. I don't burst into tears when someone has upset me. I don't even go away and cry privately. It's not how I do it. But many, many people assume that unless a woman "looks upset" she's not really upset. It got me into a lot of trouble with doctors about two years and a quarter ago.
Is the answer to go back to putting on an act when I'm talking to people? I hated that; it feels like lying.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-03 11:18 pm (UTC)"I am very angry/disappointed/furious/sad/depressed and trying not to over react, but...." should get you some kind of response unless the people you are dealing with are deaf.