I feel squashed

[ailbhe]

Crossposted to plan_survive

I asked on a midwifery mailing list for recommendations of books with detailed information on c-sections. Most of the people on this list know my history, but someone who obviously didn't has emailed me to say "Have you considered a vaginal birth instead? Don't you know it's safer for mother and baby in more than 95% of cases?"

Before I could stop myself I answered with a big list of all my excuses for not having a vaginal birth this time.

And every single one felt like an excuse, not a reason, as I wrote it.

Is this normal? Am I the only person who tries to assume that people are doing what they are doing because it's the best option available to them, rather than because they're feckless idiots who can't be arsed to do things The Right Way? I know I don't always succeed in that assumption, but I try to.

I feel squashed. And guilty again, and I'm sick of feeling guilty about Linnea's birth. It's 9 days to her second birthday. *sulk*

Comments

[ailbhe]

Thanks. I've read that, before I got pregnant (I think it's one reason I was *able* to) - the local library doesn't have it but I was able to get a copy from the La Leche League Library. But I'm no longer able to travel out to that, so... However, someone *helpful* on the midwifery list said she got on from Amazon very cheaply, so I'll be looking into that, first. Then I'll take your copy :)

I know why that woman said what she did; she runs a VBAC group. People who campaign for VBAC pretty much believe that vaginal birth is always better. But it did take quite a lot of restraint not to send her mail full of vitriol after I'd automatically sent the one full of excuses.

Off topic, I've been wondering whether you used a Totseat for Alex while out, and whether it was useful.

[buzzy-bee.livejournal.com]

OK, I think I know who it was and god help her if I am ever sitting in the same room with her again. Grrrrrrrrr.

[ailbhe]

It wasn't supercrazylady, but you may well know who she is, yeah.

[buzzy-bee.livejournal.com]

Double barrelled last name, first name starts with a D?

[ailbhe]

No D, I don't think.