So what do you think?

[ailbhe]

I've heard this sentiment a few times in the recent past - say the past six months or so:

"If she didn't want to be woken up by sex, she should have told him so before."

Comments

[trinker.livejournal.com]

"If he wanted to wake her up with sex, he should have negotiated it previously..."

The thing is...I seem to be in a distinct minority here, but with the right parter, I *do* enjoy waking up to sex. There are nights when my sleep has to be a strong priority, but outside those times, with a partner I feel comfortable with, I wouldn't mind.

BUT. I read back over that, and I see that I'm saying "I". It's *my* kink, and up to me to discuss that with partners. If it's that guy's kink to do this sort of thing, he needs to bring it up.

I see lots of people being squicked (or so it reads to me) -- it's hard to separate, because fundamentally this *is* a consent issue, but it's just as much a consent issue with BDSM activities or just about anything else. Learning to talk about sex, rather than working on the ad hoc level, is generally a good thing no matter what the activity that ensues.