So what do you think?

[ailbhe]

I've heard this sentiment a few times in the recent past - say the past six months or so:

"If she didn't want to be woken up by sex, she should have told him so before."

Comments

[calieber.livejournal.com]

Maybe -- maybe -- deep into a long-term relationship, where he knows the hour-to-hour, day-to-day, week-to-week, month-to-month etc. patterns of her libido, where he has a general idea of how much advance warning she wants/needs before they do anything sexual, if the relationship in general and the sexual relationship in particular is going smoothly, it's not entirely unreasonable if his thought process is more involved than simply "well, I just woke up horny at 3 A.M. and she's right here in the bed with me." And if he does stop if she tells him to stop (or even just asks him to stop).

If she previously gave him permission to wake her up with foreplay/sex, then I think it's fair for him to expect her to say specifically if she doesn't want that on a given night.