On Vaginal Exams During Labour

[ailbhe]

I have to examine you
But I will let you have
A sheet to drape over your knees,
A gooey latex glove

I have to examine you
There's no room for your mate
This stranger is a chaperone
Your husband can just wait

I have to examine you
It's not causing you pain
I think you're just too uptight
I'll start over again

I have to examine you
Come on, take off your pants
Get down there on the table
This student wants a chance

I have to examine you
You shouldn't want a choice
It's all for your own good, you know
It's good you've lost your voice

Comments

[megpie71.livejournal.com]

Well said.

I had enough damn problems with the pap smears (and the resultant colposcopies). My last pap smear came up with a small abnormality, which meant I had to get a colposcopy.

What's a colposcopy, I hear the anonymous troll in the corner ask? (She looks like a "Peridot" to me...) A colposcopy is a procedure where they take a little slice of tissue from your cervix... after dousing the silly thing in vinegar so they can see it clearly. Stings like bejazus. Oh, and you have the standard freezing cold duck lips up your jacksie, you're stuck on a chair sort of thingie, your legs are out at a weird angle, and you aren't allowed to kick the twit who's just put you in pain.

Following the first one, I damn near fainted (which I am *NOT* prone to). I was damn reluctant to go in for the second. Turned out there was nothing wrong with me.

But now I'm just about due another pap test, and I damn well don't want to take the silly thing.

Ailbhe, even though I haven't been in anything *near* your situation, I find your poem sums up a *LOT* of the gynae stuff I've experienced. I've been prodded, poked, examined by students, and effectively treated like a living, breathing practice dummy. Informed consent my arse - the one thing they don't inform you of is that you have the option of saying "no". Maybe it's because they don't intend to take it seriously.