On Vaginal Exams During Labour

[ailbhe]

I have to examine you
But I will let you have
A sheet to drape over your knees,
A gooey latex glove

I have to examine you
There's no room for your mate
This stranger is a chaperone
Your husband can just wait

I have to examine you
It's not causing you pain
I think you're just too uptight
I'll start over again

I have to examine you
Come on, take off your pants
Get down there on the table
This student wants a chance

I have to examine you
You shouldn't want a choice
It's all for your own good, you know
It's good you've lost your voice

Comments

[rmc28]

Well, aren't you the lucky one never to have had a problem with examinations. So nice of you to insult Ailbhe anonymously. Do you have any idea of what she's been through? Or did you just think it was fun to come slag off a stranger without bothering with context?

I had no problem with exams either before this summer; now I can barely hold back tears while thinking of them, I can't go into a room with an exam table without having to suppress hyperventilation and I almost always need to take my husband with me. Why? Because one medical professional after another had to examine me while I was in immense pain. Sometimes I even agreed with them that they needed to. I argued with at least two of them, but to no avail: they would not do anything about my pain without examining me to prove that my pain was where I said it was. And it's amazing how much being in pain saps your ability to communicate or even form coherent thoughts.

Ask anyone who knows me or Ailbhe: "pushover" or "sheeplike" will not be in the description.

Go back under whatever rock you oozed from, or learn to think before you spout nonsense to make yourself feel superior.

[ailbhe]

On reflection, I don't think it's important what I've gone through. Vaginal exams are almost never enjoyable, exciting experiences, and the phrasing "I have to examine you" ought to be eradicated from the medical vocabulary.

I was very sheeplike, though, after a month of labour. Labour is tiring and painful.