In case you're wondering why Rob and I are tired and miserable

[ailbhe]

Timeline:

April 2004: Most of it in early labour, with painful, frequent (every 10-20 minutes) contractions. Rob went to work every day not knowing whether I'd still be pregnant when he came home. Also, we had houseguests the entire month.

May 2004: Most of it with a newborn, gradually becoming aware that my injuries were far worse than we'd initially supposed, and were in fact getting worse every time I walked or used the toilet - and Rob had to go into the office to work more often, and our helping friends and relations were running out.

June 2004: First postnatal appointment with a gynaecologist, who refers me to another gynaecologist.

July 2004: Linnea has sleep apnoea - that is, she stops breathing. Repeatedly. And I stop sleeping for a week.

August 2004: We go on marathon two-week "holiday" to Ireland, visiting hordes of friends and relations in a heady, exhausting, draining rush. We get three days in the middle to rest in one place. Also, the Discworld Convention. Also, I collapse with pain in Sainsburys and am brought to hospital in an ambulance.

September 2004: We visit relations in Sweden, including Mormor Greta. I see the gynaecologist, who tells us I'm much more seriously injured than we'd guessed and that he can't operate until I finish a course of HRT. Mormor Greta dies. I am also prescribed proper pain relief, after months over overdosing on OTC ones.

October 2004: Appointment with colo-rectal specialist, who casts yet more gloom over my potential recovery. Mormor's funeral, which I am almost too ill for Rob to attend - we get my mother to come and care for me instead.

November 2004: Nothing happened! Oh my ME. Except that I continued to have flashbacks and panic attacks and my tear continued to tear larger.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/ailbhe/211778.html

December 2004: Perineal reconstruction and rectal exam under general anaesthetic. Overnight hospital stay. Extremely traumatic for everyone. First Christmas "alone" included travelling to London late on Christmas Eve to meet in-laws, and having them visit us on Boxing Day. Christmas Day itself was spent resting and preparing for the visit.

January 2005: Codeine withdrawal: diarrhoea, nausea, headaches, hallucinations, blackouts. Meeting with a female gynaecologist about birth trauma.

February 2005: We all got a nasty stomach bug.

March 2005: Linnea reliably soaked every nappy every night; we had to change all her clothes and bedding at least once a night. The laundry was incredible. She also learned to remove nappies while weeing, from under her clothes, even if her top-clothes fastened at the crotch.

Rob's parents' neighbour was stunningly insensitive: http://www.livejournal.com/users/ailbhe/230453.html

We also had uninvited houseguests.

April 2005: Linnea's birthday; a month of flashbacks and nightmares and panic attacks. But we started with a glorious weekend in Paris. I walked home in the rain one day and wet myself because I still wasn't properly continent and the rain was just too much. And Emmer on the Archers had her baby and set off a string of misery and flashbacks. Linnea shut her fingers in the VCR and pressed play.

May 2005: I got a chest infection - pretty serious - and Linnea and Rob got conjunctivitis. The infection lasted a full month and was resistant to the first kind of antibiotic. The second kind resulted in an allergic reaction and a midnight ambulance visit.

June 2005: I discovered that my passport photo had been stolen from my website and used in a commercially produced computer game, at least twice, without my knowledge or consent. I emailed the company but heard nothing back. I was too tired and ill to do anything about it. My GP went on maternity leave and I couldn't find a sympathetic female replacement.

I also travelled to Dublin on the train and ferry, with Rob and Linnea, to attend a wedding. Our chauffeur-driven car arrived on time, but the driver got lost and had no map, so we were very, very late for the ceremony. The wedding was that of my very oldest and most enduring friend.

July 2005: Rob and I had a lovely 10-day holiday with my mother. Then I spent a week in a house with three toddlers, four adults, and a baby. None of the adults are on particularly friendly terms, none of the toddlers are sleeping well, Linnea in particular never managed more than 8 hours in one night that week.

Then we went to CCDE.

August 2005: Exam under general anaesthetic and follow-up appointment to say it's irreparable; I am placed on 6-month waiting list for pain management clinic. Rob's parents' car is in a minor stationary accident outside our house.

September 2005: I aggressively chased an appointment with a gynaecologist, and got one for October. I had to go through the whole birth experience in detail with the Patient Advice and Liaison people. Linnea's sleep began to deteriorate very seriously.

October 2005: It's only just started - but we've started with a blazing row due to sleep deprivation. And Rob got a diagnosis of depression. And was made redundant. And I have an appointment at the hospital with someone who is going to do a manual exam of my genitals.

So.

Comments

[niallm.livejournal.com]

It can be good to write these things down!