Ooops, here I go again...

[ailbhe]

I'm Ailbhe, and I'm not coping.

Hi, Ailbhe.

Yesterday evening's episode of The Archers included a labour and birth scene. The Archers was on at 19:00, and I finally got to bed, shaking and sniffling, at about 4 am when Linnea woke for a feed. In the middle, sometime around 2 am, there was a big meltdown, with me crying all over every online forum I could think of, because I had enough sanity left to know that I couldn't wake Rob without waking Linnea, and anyway, if Rob got enough sleep today would be easier.

Thanks, folks. Being talked through calm breathing, sharing a glass of port with someone at the end of a bunch of electrons, and having people tell me all about their housework routines really helped.

Today went rather better, but I am still crying a lot. It's probably partially because I'm overdue a period, and partially because of Linnea's birthday, coming soon to a 30th April near you. The plan is to overwrite all the icky memories with nice ones this year, so that next year is unmixed delight and rapture, cavorting in spring meadows and gambolling in seasonal-for-the-UK snow (unseasonal spring snow is season weather here; I don't know why it surprises people so much).

Of course, bidding on comfy nursing bras on Ebay helps too.

Comments

[radegund.livejournal.com]

More hugs from over here. You are incredibly strong, and it's OK to have meltdowns every so often.

(We're just back from our lovely holiday; I'm starting the loooong LJ catch-up...)

"...and it's OK to have meltdowns every so often"

[feetnotes.livejournal.com]

damned right it is. people who don't - the classical "stiff upper lipped" brit, for example - when they go, it's typically for a catastrophic breakdown, from which they may never be able to pick up the pieces without professional help.

ailbhe, you are coping - rather amazingly well, imnsho (though ianaqtc *g*) - and you can see one of the best yardsticks of this, every time you look at your little wonder *vbg* - if you were not, would she be doing half so well? [1]

[1] - "i like rhetorical questions - i usually get them right" - joann l. dominik on alt.fan.pratchett