Fame and fortune

[ailbhe]

I was asked to do an interview about traumatic birth for a freelance magazine-not-newspaper journalist, and I agreed on condition she questioned me in email not over the phone, and she did, and that's fine. Now I've been asked to do an interview for a company that are making a documentary for Channel 4.

I can't do it. I hate phonecalls. I have no desire to be on television. I don't want my name on television. I want to be my own editor, dammit, and I don't want to do it in an oral / aural medium. I can't put myself across like that - it doesn't work.

But undoubtedly my birth would have been easier to live with had I know that traumatic birth leading to PTSD was one of the possibilities. So if I did the interview, other people's lives might be easier.

But I have surgery on Tuesday. I haven't had a single appointment with a psychologist yet. I am squishing tears out of my eyes so that I can see to type this, because I feel so guilty about it - but it's much too early. I need to be a lot closer to well, physically and psychologically, before I can undertake anything as stressful as actual publicity.

And for this, I really do need to be my own editor.

Perhaps they could interview someone to speak on my behalf. Would that fill the same moral purpose?

I don't know. I've told them that I can't make any decisions until at least the week beginning 20 December. It's all too fragile now.

What should I do? (in the spirit of tossing a coin to see whether I'm disappointed when it lands).

Comments

[bopeepsheep.livejournal.com]

Did they give you any indication of the timeframe they're working to? IME filming can take place quite a while after they start approaching people, so it's possible you might be able to put off any decision until after New Year at least - which will give you a much better idea of how you're feeling health-wise, at least. And if you said yes and then changed your mind, that's not wrong and wouldn't put them out unduly. It's part and parcel of what they do, so don't feel obligated if you do initially agree - but don't sign a disclaimer until you're absolutely sure.

Would Rob be prepared/interested in speaking on your behalf? That might be something they'd go for.