Mens sane in corpore sanum, or something

[ailbhe]

I'm sure you can correct the Latin.

I've realised something over the past two days - I'm afraid that when my body has been fixed (28 days from now, apparently) I will have to be better in my mind as well - and I just won't be. A large part of the problem is imagining how much everyone hates me being such a moany whinger, which isn't helped when people tell me I am - the whole "It could be worse" scenario. At least now I have the excuse of being physically seriously unwell; when I've been surgically fixed, I have no tangible excuse not to frolic gaily through the budding spring, pausing to feed lambs, show Linnea nesting birdies, and bake my own bread, etc.

Well, except that it won't be spring, of course. Inset carol singers, roast chestnuts, and cutting down my own Christmas tree in the snow with a humourously red nose, then.

Guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt RESENTMENT guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt DEFENSIVENESS guilt guilt guilt. I wonder how much of this has to do with growing up in holy catlick Ireland, even though my mother isn't very holy catlick at all?

Comments

Um.

[the-ogre.livejournal.com]

I hope nothing I've said has contributed to your feeling down about this.

Personally, I don't think you have any need to apologize. You are going through some tough, hard stuff. You have to deal with it in whatever way works for you. Other folks, with the possible exception of Rob, don't really have a say.

So vent, as and however you need to. And get better. And visit California.