Mens sane in corpore sanum, or something

[ailbhe]

I'm sure you can correct the Latin.

I've realised something over the past two days - I'm afraid that when my body has been fixed (28 days from now, apparently) I will have to be better in my mind as well - and I just won't be. A large part of the problem is imagining how much everyone hates me being such a moany whinger, which isn't helped when people tell me I am - the whole "It could be worse" scenario. At least now I have the excuse of being physically seriously unwell; when I've been surgically fixed, I have no tangible excuse not to frolic gaily through the budding spring, pausing to feed lambs, show Linnea nesting birdies, and bake my own bread, etc.

Well, except that it won't be spring, of course. Inset carol singers, roast chestnuts, and cutting down my own Christmas tree in the snow with a humourously red nose, then.

Guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt RESENTMENT guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt DEFENSIVENESS guilt guilt guilt. I wonder how much of this has to do with growing up in holy catlick Ireland, even though my mother isn't very holy catlick at all?

Comments

[k425.livejournal.com]

Minds and bodies heal at different rates, for different people. If you have a fast healing body that doesn't mean you have a fast healing mind, and vice versa.

And just because you're having your op soon, that's not the end of "fixing your body". Your body wil still need to heal from the op, and it may take time, and that will add to the time taken for your mind to heal.

And one of the things that I found really helpful was hearing from a woman who had a pretty untraumatic pregnancy and labour (but a mad dash to hospital after the birth, for bleeding) that it took her body 2 years to be what it was prepregnancy, but she was still healing, emotionally, a couple of years after that. That from a counsellor.

I think upbringing does have a lot to do with it.

And I think your tree would look Christmasier with a star or an angel rather than a red nose.