Mens sane in corpore sanum, or something

[ailbhe]

I'm sure you can correct the Latin.

I've realised something over the past two days - I'm afraid that when my body has been fixed (28 days from now, apparently) I will have to be better in my mind as well - and I just won't be. A large part of the problem is imagining how much everyone hates me being such a moany whinger, which isn't helped when people tell me I am - the whole "It could be worse" scenario. At least now I have the excuse of being physically seriously unwell; when I've been surgically fixed, I have no tangible excuse not to frolic gaily through the budding spring, pausing to feed lambs, show Linnea nesting birdies, and bake my own bread, etc.

Well, except that it won't be spring, of course. Inset carol singers, roast chestnuts, and cutting down my own Christmas tree in the snow with a humourously red nose, then.

Guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt RESENTMENT guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt DEFENSIVENESS guilt guilt guilt. I wonder how much of this has to do with growing up in holy catlick Ireland, even though my mother isn't very holy catlick at all?

Comments

[nex0s.livejournal.com]

if i've caused you undue guilt by saying how much worse it could have been, i'm incredibly sorry. that was SO not my intention! i was trying in my incredibly clumsy way to be supportive in the only way i know how. for myself, i know that knowing how much worse it could have been usually makes me feel better about my own issue. so i'm sorry. if it helps, it wasn't my intention :(

i want you to get better, but not because i hate hearing about how you are hurting, but because i consider you my friend and i prefer my friends happy and healthy for their sake.

but i also want you to get better at the pace you *need*. i want to support you in that in any way i can.

*hug*

n.

[ailbhe]

No, you didn't. You came across as supportive, not shut-up-you're-boring. So that's ok :)