Insomniac pome

[ailbhe]

There is a hippie in my head
With wind-chimes in her hair
Who warns "A section means you're weak -
It shows you do not care."
She peers from out her beaded fringe
To mock my "green" credentials;
"It's not enough," she coldly says,
"To honestly like lentils.
You must suffer for your love,
To prove your worth as Mother.
The bath of child-bed blood's the way;
Earth-Mothers know no other."
And so I know I cannot be
The hippie girl who lived in me.

Comments

[tiggsybabes.livejournal.com]

What a load of rubbish! I had an emergency c-section & have a healthy child to show for it.

A small handful of people tried to make me feel guilty & none of them are my friends any longer.

[micheinnz.livejournal.com]

Excuse me, what are you calling rubbish, please?

I was merely backing up Rivka's feeling that accusations of guilt are misplaced and harmful. (Apologies, Rivka, if I have misrepresented your position here.)

[tiggsybabes.livejournal.com]

I'm calling rubbish phrases like "having a section makes you weak" & doesn't make you a real mother.

Saving a baby's life by having an emergcy c-section or as planned section for medical reasons should never be critisised. I wanted to cry when I was told that I should have refused the c-section I was offered & insisted on carrying on labouring for a natural birth (this was said to me by another mother who had a v short labour herself & probably never reached the pain levels I was in)

It's a very touchy subject.

Ailbhe should not feel guilty at being told any futire babies will need to be born by planned section. I was offered one myself with the baby I'm carrying now that's due in 4 or 5 weeks time. I only said no as I've spent the past few months under the mistaken impression that I wasn't "allowed" to have one, so have geared myself up for a natural birth.

[micheinnz.livejournal.com]

I'm calling rubbish phrases like "having a section makes you weak" & doesn't make you a real mother.

Then it sounds like we are in violent agreement.

Saving a baby's life by having an emergcy c-section or as planned section for medical reasons should never be critisised. I wanted to cry when I was told that I should have refused the c-section I was offered & insisted on carrying on labouring for a natural birth (this was said to me by another mother who had a v short labour herself & probably never reached the pain levels I was in)

It's a very touchy subject.

Yes, it is. I remember telling someone I'd had a planned section and being told (quite snottily) "I didn't think you were allowed to DO that!", as if it were something I'd done on a whim.

Ailbhe should not feel guilty at being told any futire babies will need to be born by planned section. I was offered one myself with the baby I'm carrying now that's due in 4 or 5 weeks time. I only said no as I've spent the past few months under the mistaken impression that I wasn't "allowed" to have one, so have geared myself up for a natural birth.

I agree that Ailbhe should not feel guilty for having planned sections in the future -- I agree whole-heartedly.

And I hope things go well for you, no matter how your bundle of joy arrives in this world.

One thing I remember my midwife saying to me once the section had been booked, which has always stuck with me -- "Remember, you are still going to have a birth experience. You are still going to give birth." And yes, I did.

[tiggsybabes.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you have a fab midwife.

My surgery mw was very snotty when I mentioned a planned section at the beginning of my pg & full of praise when I told her I'd changed my mind.

The first consultant I saw (female) at 16 weeks told me in no uncertain terms that a planned section wasn't an option & the consultant I saw last week at 34 weeks said it was totally up to me & I'll be having a planned section if the baby hasn't come naturally by 40 weeks. He didn't make me feel guilty at any stage & I came away feeling very positive about the whole thing.

It's a shame that the 3 people to make me feel bad were women & the 1 person to make me feel good was male.

[micheinnz.livejournal.com]

My midwife was marvellous and if I could export her to you I would.

Continued good wishes for the best possible outcome!

[tiggsybabes.livejournal.com]

We'll all be fine :) I have every confidence in my consultant now :)