W-day -25

[ailbhe]

Seating plan.

What do I do about babies? Do I provide a seat for their carry-cot and no place setting? How do I know whether the baby is old enough for a high chair?

What do I do about shy people who only know me and no-one else at the whole wedding?

How rude is it to put a baby's high-chair next to its parent and a stranger, if the stranger has a take-it-or-leave-it attitude to babies?

General.

What if some of the kids are ill-disciplined or annoying? Can I drown them? We've sort of had to invite some children whom we actually don't know, so that their parents are able to attend - not having the parents there would leave us married in the legal sense, but would be quite unsatisfying.

Why don't we know more men? Well over half the guests will be female.

If I am providing one room with no music, but smoking allowed, and one room with music and no smoking allowed, and a small room with neither allowed and an armchair for nursing mothers, have I left any rooms out? I can get one more very small room, but I honestly can't think of any use for it that wouldn't be more fun back at the hotel. (Yes, there are bathrooms!)

Whose responsibility is it to ensure that a guest can leave and come back at intervals as she may be somewhat poorly (8 months pregnant and the first one had Complications)? Do I have to get her a taxi? Pay for it? Arrange to have someone friendly drive her to and fro? Neither one of us drives.

I am not panicking. I am not panicking. I am procrastinating study.

Comments

[bopeepsheep.livejournal.com]

Babies - before 6 months don't worry about high chairs and place settings. They only start attempting solid food and sitting up properly then, so it's a waste of space and effort for younger ones. My uncle put their baby into his pushchair (at the table) at ours, which meant he could get up and walk him round when he started crying, too. I'd be wary of sitting them next to the overtly child-phobic but most other people will probably survive. WRT children you don't know - are there children you do know coming? My little cousins managed to swoop on and "look after" the unknown children, and one of the bridesmaids made a special point of trying to get them all to dance together, which kept them contained and not-irritating.

Shy people - if they each know you but not each other, you could seat them together in the hope that they discover they at least know you... or will you have anyone who is "good with people" you could sit them by? (I sat two teachers next to my hardest guests, because they're both good at initiating interesting-but-not-scary conversations.)

You sound like you've covered everything with the rooms - although will the small quiet one also cover elderly relatives who might need a breather? If so, will they object to nursing mothers/nursing mothers object to them? Is there space for both?

At 8 months pregnant myself, and just back from my brother's wedding, I'd say: it's not your responsibility, and don't stress over it. There will undoubtedly be a number of people happy to volunteer help with transport etc, and if necessary all you need to do is introduce them to each other first. I got driven to my brother's ceremony by my other brother's fiancee, brought back by one of my older cousins, to the hotel by my dad and brought home by an aunt (since we're on her way).

HTH. You can ignore me, as a relative stranger poking her nose in (I have met Rob before and possibly even you, but it would be a loooong time ago, and we have mutual friends IRL as well as online but I suspect you won't have a clue who I am apart from now knowing my surname!), but I have been here, done this, and survived - and helped my new SIL through it all too. (Which reminds me, I must get the real film photos developed before she gets back from honeymoon on Sunday...) Good luck!