W-day -25

[ailbhe]

Seating plan.

What do I do about babies? Do I provide a seat for their carry-cot and no place setting? How do I know whether the baby is old enough for a high chair?

What do I do about shy people who only know me and no-one else at the whole wedding?

How rude is it to put a baby's high-chair next to its parent and a stranger, if the stranger has a take-it-or-leave-it attitude to babies?

General.

What if some of the kids are ill-disciplined or annoying? Can I drown them? We've sort of had to invite some children whom we actually don't know, so that their parents are able to attend - not having the parents there would leave us married in the legal sense, but would be quite unsatisfying.

Why don't we know more men? Well over half the guests will be female.

If I am providing one room with no music, but smoking allowed, and one room with music and no smoking allowed, and a small room with neither allowed and an armchair for nursing mothers, have I left any rooms out? I can get one more very small room, but I honestly can't think of any use for it that wouldn't be more fun back at the hotel. (Yes, there are bathrooms!)

Whose responsibility is it to ensure that a guest can leave and come back at intervals as she may be somewhat poorly (8 months pregnant and the first one had Complications)? Do I have to get her a taxi? Pay for it? Arrange to have someone friendly drive her to and fro? Neither one of us drives.

I am not panicking. I am not panicking. I am procrastinating study.

Comments

[bopeepsheep.livejournal.com]

Babies - before 6 months don't worry about high chairs and place settings. They only start attempting solid food and sitting up properly then, so it's a waste of space and effort for younger ones. My uncle put their baby into his pushchair (at the table) at ours, which meant he could get up and walk him round when he started crying, too. I'd be wary of sitting them next to the overtly child-phobic but most other people will probably survive. WRT children you don't know - are there children you do know coming? My little cousins managed to swoop on and "look after" the unknown children, and one of the bridesmaids made a special point of trying to get them all to dance together, which kept them contained and not-irritating.

Shy people - if they each know you but not each other, you could seat them together in the hope that they discover they at least know you... or will you have anyone who is "good with people" you could sit them by? (I sat two teachers next to my hardest guests, because they're both good at initiating interesting-but-not-scary conversations.)

You sound like you've covered everything with the rooms - although will the small quiet one also cover elderly relatives who might need a breather? If so, will they object to nursing mothers/nursing mothers object to them? Is there space for both?

At 8 months pregnant myself, and just back from my brother's wedding, I'd say: it's not your responsibility, and don't stress over it. There will undoubtedly be a number of people happy to volunteer help with transport etc, and if necessary all you need to do is introduce them to each other first. I got driven to my brother's ceremony by my other brother's fiancee, brought back by one of my older cousins, to the hotel by my dad and brought home by an aunt (since we're on her way).

HTH. You can ignore me, as a relative stranger poking her nose in (I have met Rob before and possibly even you, but it would be a loooong time ago, and we have mutual friends IRL as well as online but I suspect you won't have a clue who I am apart from now knowing my surname!), but I have been here, done this, and survived - and helped my new SIL through it all too. (Which reminds me, I must get the real film photos developed before she gets back from honeymoon on Sunday...) Good luck!

[theroach.livejournal.com]

I don't know the traditions wherte you are, but over here it is customary for guests to add something to the feast, as in: the neighbours bringing a guitar and singing a more or less bawdy song, friends dressing up as a high court of justice holding a mock trial for some former 'crime'... Depending on what they plan, they might appreciate a small special room to store musical instrumetns / props / to dress up... whatever.

Example:
Two of my local friends who married recently are members of a gaming club. About a year and a half before they married, during a public demonstration game of Wooden Ships and Iron Men (Scenario: Trafalgar), their ships (one English, ond Spanish) crahed into each other and the rigging got entangle for most of the game. So, some people from the club dis a mock trial of him, posing as English High Court, accusing him of High Treason and consorting with the enemy...

[megabitch.livejournal.com]

Seating plan: Babies/kidlets: Ask, the other suggestion about under vs over 6 months old is good, but do check as babies vary (as do parents) :) Personally, if the child is not yet on solid foods, or is still on pureed stuff, I wouldn't worry about a seat - but perhaps make sure there's space for a push-chair.

Shy people: depends why they're shy... if it's just because they don't know anyone, then put them with a gregarious bunch who will include them. If it's because they have an overwhelming fear of strangers... perhaps with an equally quiet group :)

Babies & strangers: If you can, try and put baby between parents or parent/sibling/other-relative. Some people have no patience for babies... then again, some of us get clucky at the drop of a hat :)

General: kids being more than boisterous: delegate a bridesmaid/sister or other friend to jump on them, Or to jump on the parents for not watching them/keeping them under control - if it's D, jump on him :)

Men: I dunno... I know more men than women. Is it the multiple sister effect?

Rooms: sounds great. remember, most wedding receptions involve one large room and that's about it.

Responsibility: um... she's an adult, I presume? It's hers. Perhaps making sure she has the number for local taxi company/whatever. If she is that likely to be unwell, I would hardly expect her to attend without making appropriate arrangements - I know I wouldn't were I in that situation.

Let me get one thing clear here.... YOU ARE THE BRIDE!!! On your wedding day you are expected to look radiant, smile a lot, and do absolutely sod all except enjoy yourself. You are NOT allowed to worry about what else is happening. That's what bridesmaids and Best Man / groomsmen are for :) Ideally, if the whole building was under risk of collapsing, you, as the bride, shouldn't even notice until you are whisked into the waiting car and off to an alternative venue :) Okay, that's less likely to happen in real life, but you get my point :)