My poor children

[ailbhe]

I need to work out what to do about this PMT thing. They don't deserve my temper. Though it feels like it, when I've been bitten and headbutted half the night and kicked half the morning.

A man at the market this evening said "Oh, how lovely, I'd love to stay at home with the kids all day." I said "Come to my house at 4 am, you'll be welcome."

Comments

[kaberett.livejournal.com]

Just to state the probably-not-actually-useful, is taking B vitamins an option? I find they help a lot with my PMT. (If the answer is "no, and I've already explained why not a thousand times", I'm very sorry. :/ )

[cabbagemedley.livejournal.com]

Can you explain to them what's going on, in some way? It would have been easier for me to handle my mother's PMS temper if I'd known it wasn't my fault.

[cabbagemedley.livejournal.com]

Also, I meant to say, poor you. Rotten. :(

[tiggsybabes.livejournal.com]

Mine know a bit about periods, so I told them a couple of months ago about PMS & they are to tell me if I shout unecessarily.

[baratron.livejournal.com]

I don't remember when my mum first explained to me about PMT, but I second this comment - it did make it all much easier to know it wasn't my fault. I'm pretty sure my mum told me that many women get PMT to some extent, only a few lucky ones don't - and that men don't understand it and think we're making it all up.

Also, I knew when the box of tampons was being used, my mum would be in a bad mood. I'm not sure I had any idea where the tampons *went*, but I knew they were associated with grumpy sore mother! How could this be applied to cloth pads? Hmm.

[cabbagemedley.livejournal.com]

I'm really, really glad to hear you say that, actually. I suffer from lousy PMT just like my mother did, and I've always worried about how I'll handle my temper when (hopefully when!) I have children of my own. It was just never knowing when something like not having put my laundry in the basket would be the worst thing that had ever happened to her, screaming, tears, the works. I still feel guilty whenever she's upset about something, no matter what. I hope that if I can explain to my children, that won't happen to them.

[nakedfaery.livejournal.com]

What an inconsiderate prick!

Btw, I noticed you on TLL and we seemed to have a few interests in common, so I added you :-)

I have PMDD and can't really take hormones. I'm frustrated because I can't take hormones due to my IBS and I can't take SSRI's because of my bipolar (it causes severe manic swings).

I really hope you find a way to treat it that works for you. Have you tried googling supplements for it? I've heard things like magnesium, St Johns Wort and B12 can work, but they never did for me.

[baratron.livejournal.com]

What are you on for bipolar? I've found that since being diagnosed with bipolar II, the carbamazepine I've been given helps tremendously with the insane PMDD mood levels that I've lived with for years. It *doesn't* help with the severe clumsiness and self-harm (mostly accidental), nor with the irritability and self-loathing; but the utter suicidal depths of bleakness, paranoia and psychosis aren't making themselves known.

I chose carbamazepine over valproate, by the way, because although carbamazepine has a much higher risk of serious side-effects and allergies, it *doesn't* trigger weight gain or PCOS. There seems to be a strong link between valproate and both PCOS and thyroid disfunction, to the extent that many doctors in the US won't prescribe valproate for women of reproductive age. I'm already in a high-risk group for both of them, so decided to take my chances with the carbamazepine.

If you're not already on a mood stabiliser and don't want to be for some reason, I'd recommend you ask your doctor for megadose folic acid. 5 to 15 milligrams a day, on prescription, to be taken just during the time of most instability. 5 mg is 12.5 x the recommended daily intake for women who are trying to conceive, and it would be extremely difficult to get to this level with over-the-counter pills. But folic acid is a natural and relatively safe mood stabiliser, and has no real side-effects as long as you take it along with a vitamin supplement that contains at least 100% of the RDA for vitamins B6 and B12, and a high dose of both calcium and magnesium. (Taking megadose folic acid over a long period of time can "knock out" the blood concentrations of your other B-vitamins, so you need to ensure you get enough of them to compensate. Calcium is useful because there is a belief among some biochemists that PMS evolved as a way of telling women that they're low on calcium!! Um, yeah... but mine *did* get a lot better when I started taking 66.6% of the RDA of calcium in tablets as well as what I get in food). Folic acid at 5 mg is also essential for any woman of reproductive age who is on carbamazepine or valproate and would not wish to have an abortion in the case of contraceptive failure. (All anti-epileptic drugs used as mood stabilisers have a high risk of serious neural tube defects.)

Another option is omega fatty acids, especially omega-3, -6 and -9. If you are able to take fish oil, then that's probably the easiest way to obtain them. If you are vegetarian, vegan or allergic to fish, check out soya bean, linseed and flax seeds/oil. A lot of bipolar doctors highly recommend fish oil, and it's cheap enough to be worth a shot. Possibly some of the bone-protecting formulas that include calcium could be useful?

[pauamma]

And he's still alive? You're a better man than I, Gunga Din.

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

Great response. *sends you warm hugs*

[tiggsybabes.livejournal.com]

I shrieked at mine last night for not clearing the table after dinner, so it's PMS time again here :/

Mine has improved since taking starflower oil capsules though.

[barakta]

My mum had quite bad moodswings when I was a child, PMS and some mania/depression related stuff. I think Ie rationalised as "oh mummy's cross" and it didn't really bother me longer term as she was lovely after we'd (children) done whatever was /PISSING HER OFF/ at that time. I can of course only speak for myself and not my siblings - who might have been more traumatised - it's hard to tell.

[velcro-kitten.livejournal.com]

I hear ya! I turned into a screaming harridon, yet again this month (after two quiet months???). Does evening primrose work?

I think one of the worst things is wondering if P (daughter) is going to have to go thro all this too.

[baratron.livejournal.com]

I really think you should write a book about parenting. Possibly even a book about recovering from traumatic birth. If I ever had free time, I'd love to help you edit some of your livejournal into book format.

[ailbhe]

Coo.

I sort of wanted to, at one point. I was going to call it "That's what matters," because that's what people say to a woman after a traumatic birth - "At least the baby's ok, that's what matters."

Perhaps I will.

In my copious free time.