Fellowship

[ailbhe]

Just called the Unitarian Universalist group number for the town where we live. There's no church, which I knew - but also there are no other children, no other families with children, and not much for children there.

I think I'll go to September's meeting (they meet once a month) and see how it goes. I can't decide whether to bring the girls, equipped as for the wedding with bags of amusements and so on, or not.

The suggested alternative is in Godalming, Surrey, which is 40 miles away. Something of a long cycle on a summer Sunday afternoon, I feel. Or a tenner and two to three hours' travel by train, plus the walking. I'm not that dedicated.

I hope the local group proves family-friendly even if we are the only family there.

Comments

no idea if this is helpful or not

[hfnuala.livejournal.com]

Are there local quakers?

Re: no idea if this is helpful or not

[ai731.livejournal.com]

Exactly what I was going to suggest. There was a Quaker meeting when I was in Reading - I went to a couple of meetings, and they did have families and provision for child-care during meetings.

Re: no idea if this is helpful or not

[ailbhe]

I've dropped them an email to see what the deal is with children who would rather stay with their families (like Emer, who hates being abandoned). I've read a lot about UU and it seems like there's a lot for children to do WITH their families, as well as separate from them. I like that.

I've been in the Meeting House buildings, for a True Food Co-op thing, and it's lovely.

Re: no idea if this is helpful or not

[hfnuala.livejournal.com]

The meeting here has a meeting for all ages once a month as well as child stuff the other weeks.

Re: no idea if this is helpful or not

[batswing.livejournal.com]

Children are always welcome in meeting. We see them as equal members of the meeting and honestly they bring a whole new life to the meeting. Obviously it's better if they're not running around pinching people and yelling in their faces but small people noises, small people with books or toys etc aren't any problem at all.

Re: no idea if this is helpful or not

[ailbhe]

This is great, the Reading Quakers website gave me the distinct impression that children are strongly expected to leave for the children stuff to facilitate the "deeper silence."

Re: no idea if this is helpful or not

[ai731.livejournal.com]

At one of the Reading Quaker meetings I attended, there was a six-year-old girl wearing fairy wings on her back and big black stompy boot on her feet. Someone in meeting stood to talk about how the little girl in her big boots reminded each of us to "make our own mark on the world". I found the Reading meeting quietly welcoming and in no way stuffy or 'strict'. There was a fellow who visibly fell asleep in his chair and no one seemed to mind.

Re: no idea if this is helpful or not

[ailbhe]

My general experience of the welcome afforded to children has tainted my views, I think. And Reading is remarkably child-friendly, for the UK.

Re: no idea if this is helpful or not

[batswing.livejournal.com]

*shrug*
if you're worried your particular children might be fidgity and disturb people then sit near the door so you can take them out for YOUR comfort but if anyone's unquakerly enough to be uppity about children throughout a whole meeting I'll do some unquakerly arsekicking for you!

Most of us remember that when our adults were in prison it was our children who kept our meetings alive and our community strong.

I've been sitting through whole meetings since I was a baby. Though I often took a book as a child. :) I found it good training for adult life anyway - I can sit in quiet contemplation on a train for hours for instance! :)

There's an online 'faith and practice' - you might find it interesting to read the sections on children in meeting. Or you might not. :)

Re: no idea if this is helpful or not

[batswing.livejournal.com]

PS, I expect they'll be lovely. :)

Re: no idea if this is helpful or not

[ailbhe]

My general experience of the welcome afforded to children has tainted my views, I think. And Reading is remarkably child-friendly, for the UK.

Re: no idea if this is helpful or not

[batswing.livejournal.com]

*nod*
I'm not a mum and I notice the world is getting less accepting of children while it strives to prove how child-friendly it is.

[rivka.livejournal.com]

I would try it once without the girls to see if it's something that works for you, and then, if it seems like the group could be your religious home, bring the girls the following time.

If you do decide to attend, the UUA has plenty of materials that can be used for children's Religious Education, either working at home as a family or in congregations which are too small to have an "official" RE program. (Of which there are lots.)

I'd also start thinking of which of your friends with children might be interested in being recruited. The UU group may be uninterested in families and children, or they may just be kind of insular and unaware of where to find religiously liberal families with children.

[ailbhe]

I do have a local friend who might well be interested. The biggest problem will be the venue - they meet on private property, in a waiting room near an office, once a month only. They have no minister. Part of me loves the idea and part of me thinks I'll end up organising something and recruiting and things, which, um, not so sure about. Neither physical nor emotional energy has been running at a surplus lately.

I'm thinking about mixing Friends and UU for a bit - in all honesty UU appeals to me more, probably largely because of your writing about your particular congregation, but they do seem like they could be complementary.

[buzzy-bee.livejournal.com]

I found that UU in the UK was very different from UU in the US. I was interested for similar reasons to you, but lets just say I lowered the average age by a couple of decades by attending.

[ailbhe]

I wouldn't mind joining a community of grandparents, if they were generous-spirited grandparents. My Homestart lady is in her seventies and I would love to have my family in a group of people like her.

[baratron.livejournal.com]

One of the problems is we don't actually have UU in the UK. We have Unitarians, who vary from liberal Christianity to anything goes depending on congregation.

I've been attending the Unitarian church in Brighton since December. Because of the distance I only go once a month, but that is one of only two fellowships in the UK that's linked to the Unitarian Universalists in North America directly. Their family service is the first Sunday of the month and I believe that children are fully included, though I've never been to it myself.

The church is accessible from the station, about 10 minutes walk for healthy adult legs. It's down a steep hill, so I'm not sure how much longer you'd need to add for small legs.

Their website appears to be strangely broken, but I can give you the minister's phone number if you're interested. Her name is Jane and she's very lovely. Apparently she tells a story as part of the service.

Brighton is also good for dairy-free eating :D

[ailbhe]

The Unitarians website looks promising, though. There's certainly *room* for UUish stuff in there. Not totally sure about the train fare aspects of going to non-local churches though. Train fare is for museums, in my head; churches are very local.

On the other other hand, Quakers don't use titles. Which is one of my pet things.