Taken from a comment elsewhere

[ailbhe]

[A specific explanation for a specific parenting problem] seems plausible to me - but also, she is definitely a bad mom, because ANY mom who is observed by ANY person other than her children almost ALWAYS comes off as a bad mom to herself, or at least an inadequate mom because intimately tied in with momness is a fear of failing the most important person in the universe by being less than perfect, and the only person who thinks mom is perfect is the baby - mom never ever thinks so and nor does anyone else. If moms were perfect vast sections of capitalism would disintegrate overnight, not least the sugary breakfast cereal market. Oh, and plastic crap with lights and batteries.