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ailbheEmer's asleep so I can switch my other brain on.
Non-judgmental play supervision: How do you go about allowing your children to choose their forms of independent play when you know that they are acting out violent, gender-stereotyped, or other undesirable roles? I don't have time to go into much detail now but am thinking of stuff like Barbie, guns, etc. Some toys give me the screaming abdabs but I also feel I ought to allow them to play with them, so I try to keep out of it and let it go on around me without voicing a judgment, but there again, I'm fairly sure they're not dim enough not to realise when I'm judging my little heart out.
Property: My kids have SO MUCH STUFF and one of the ways Linnea expresses naughtiness is to destroy her own stuff. In general I either confiscate it and mend it or confiscate it and bin it. I do not replace destroyed stuff. There's too much already. What Would LJ Do?
Consequences: Linnea ate the icing off the defrosted cake in a box on the counter this morning. The cake itself is fine, though probably not fit to be given to guests, but I think she has forfeited her right to eat any of it now. Am I a tyrant or is that a reasonable, connected to the event, direct, comprehensible consequence?
Laundry: Do you think small spatters of orange turmeric staining on the front fly area of a pair of brand new beige trousers would be better or worse than small spatters of white marks where I failed to bleach it properly? I need to make this decision soon. I suppose I can always dye them brown...
Non-judgmental play supervision: How do you go about allowing your children to choose their forms of independent play when you know that they are acting out violent, gender-stereotyped, or other undesirable roles? I don't have time to go into much detail now but am thinking of stuff like Barbie, guns, etc. Some toys give me the screaming abdabs but I also feel I ought to allow them to play with them, so I try to keep out of it and let it go on around me without voicing a judgment, but there again, I'm fairly sure they're not dim enough not to realise when I'm judging my little heart out.
Property: My kids have SO MUCH STUFF and one of the ways Linnea expresses naughtiness is to destroy her own stuff. In general I either confiscate it and mend it or confiscate it and bin it. I do not replace destroyed stuff. There's too much already. What Would LJ Do?
Consequences: Linnea ate the icing off the defrosted cake in a box on the counter this morning. The cake itself is fine, though probably not fit to be given to guests, but I think she has forfeited her right to eat any of it now. Am I a tyrant or is that a reasonable, connected to the event, direct, comprehensible consequence?
Laundry: Do you think small spatters of orange turmeric staining on the front fly area of a pair of brand new beige trousers would be better or worse than small spatters of white marks where I failed to bleach it properly? I need to make this decision soon. I suppose I can always dye them brown...
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(no subject)
Date: 2008-05-29 03:52 pm (UTC)(I did the exact same thing to a cake when I was a little younger than Linnea, except it *was* for guests, and they *were* already in the house... Is it any consolation if I tell you my mom thinks it's funny now?)
As for the stuff, I have no personal experience of any of this of course. But I had what used to be called a "strict" upbringing and was forbidden to do a whole bunch of stuff. In some cases the result was an exact rebound (the forbidden fruit effect), in others I completely conformed to what my parents wanted me to do. I think kids are totally random that way. They'll grow up to be the people they want to be, and while you can try and influence them you can never be sure that what you're doing has the effect you're aiming for...
Not very helpful I know, but look at it this way: it's a tiny bit of responsibility you don't have to carry any more.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-05-29 04:04 pm (UTC)Then I burnt some muffins defrosting them in the microwave. It's been a bad cake day.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-05-29 04:53 pm (UTC)