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ailbheEmer's asleep so I can switch my other brain on.
Non-judgmental play supervision: How do you go about allowing your children to choose their forms of independent play when you know that they are acting out violent, gender-stereotyped, or other undesirable roles? I don't have time to go into much detail now but am thinking of stuff like Barbie, guns, etc. Some toys give me the screaming abdabs but I also feel I ought to allow them to play with them, so I try to keep out of it and let it go on around me without voicing a judgment, but there again, I'm fairly sure they're not dim enough not to realise when I'm judging my little heart out.
Property: My kids have SO MUCH STUFF and one of the ways Linnea expresses naughtiness is to destroy her own stuff. In general I either confiscate it and mend it or confiscate it and bin it. I do not replace destroyed stuff. There's too much already. What Would LJ Do?
Consequences: Linnea ate the icing off the defrosted cake in a box on the counter this morning. The cake itself is fine, though probably not fit to be given to guests, but I think she has forfeited her right to eat any of it now. Am I a tyrant or is that a reasonable, connected to the event, direct, comprehensible consequence?
Laundry: Do you think small spatters of orange turmeric staining on the front fly area of a pair of brand new beige trousers would be better or worse than small spatters of white marks where I failed to bleach it properly? I need to make this decision soon. I suppose I can always dye them brown...
Non-judgmental play supervision: How do you go about allowing your children to choose their forms of independent play when you know that they are acting out violent, gender-stereotyped, or other undesirable roles? I don't have time to go into much detail now but am thinking of stuff like Barbie, guns, etc. Some toys give me the screaming abdabs but I also feel I ought to allow them to play with them, so I try to keep out of it and let it go on around me without voicing a judgment, but there again, I'm fairly sure they're not dim enough not to realise when I'm judging my little heart out.
Property: My kids have SO MUCH STUFF and one of the ways Linnea expresses naughtiness is to destroy her own stuff. In general I either confiscate it and mend it or confiscate it and bin it. I do not replace destroyed stuff. There's too much already. What Would LJ Do?
Consequences: Linnea ate the icing off the defrosted cake in a box on the counter this morning. The cake itself is fine, though probably not fit to be given to guests, but I think she has forfeited her right to eat any of it now. Am I a tyrant or is that a reasonable, connected to the event, direct, comprehensible consequence?
Laundry: Do you think small spatters of orange turmeric staining on the front fly area of a pair of brand new beige trousers would be better or worse than small spatters of white marks where I failed to bleach it properly? I need to make this decision soon. I suppose I can always dye them brown...
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(no subject)
Date: 2008-05-29 01:48 pm (UTC)If mine had done that to a cake, they would def have forfeited the right to eating any. Choices was one of the things we learnt on the behaviour course I went to. The phrase to use there is "It was your choice to eat the icing before being given a slice of cake, so you've all ready eaten your share" or somesuch.
It's not the best example, as the behaviour has all ready happened. A better one is if the child is refusing to do something, like come inside for dinner, so you would say "It is your choice to either come inside now & eat your dinner or stay outside, have no dinner & go & sit in the "time out space" for not doing as I asked" Or whatever punishment is appropriate. You can do it from toddlers up to teenagers apparently & it does actually work as one of my friends has 5 children from teenager down to 6 & it works on all of them. It is apparently giving the decision to the child & not to you. I'm not making much sense as I'm tired & have a cold.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-05-29 01:59 pm (UTC)Like you say, eat dinner at the table or not at all, childs choice.