Come and see the violence inherent in the system

[ailbhe]

At softplay today, Linnea and her friend were off in the baby area drinking their cartons of juice inside a playhouse (definitely on dodgy ground according to my own rules but absolutely allowed at the venue), and both mothers and Emer were at a table helping Emer eat her raisins. F came over in tears talking about boys hurting her; she's given to being hypersensitive about normal twixt-children interaction, so we didn't think much of it, but I went off to fetch Linnea anyway, because I figured that if there was any trouble of a physical nature Linnea might be helping it along.

I found her sobbing - howling - in a corner. She had her badly crushed, empty juice carton in her hand. She was inarticulate with distress. A boy had taken her juice and poured it out. She pointed him out to me, and I could see his mother, but she was too upset for me to get involved in a confrontation, so I calmed her and took her back to our seats. There I discovered fingernail marks on her arm, and, once she calmed down a lot more, thanks to jellybeans from a vending machine, a graze and a swelling on her side, under her clothes - she'd been knocked down, held down, dragged, and had her drink stolen.

I took her to staff and explained briefly what had happened; showed the guy her graze, which was really way, way beyond "Oh, these things happen, never mind" levels; pointed out the prime suspect. The staff apologised, agreed it should never happen and was not acceptable, replaced the drink, asked if we wanted anything for her graze, and went to watch the child to see if it had been him. Later, they told us that the child had "done it again, to another child," and they were now trying to find out who his mother was.

I foolishly didn't give them my name. I should have. As it is, I shall have to phone them tomorrow and find out what happened.

Linnea and her friend were very upset by it. Linnea is really, truly not accustomed to being attacked by older children - babies yes, because babies don't know that they're not allowed to hit, but all the older children she knows do know this, and even the ones who fight tend to do it sort of consensually. Her friend was completely bewildered by it all; "Why were the big boys hurting us?" and "Why did the big boys want to hurt us?"

I'm glad I didn't see the graze when I could still see the boy's mother because my reaction might have been very unreasonable indeed. Not to mention unhelpful and unproductive. And loud.

Comments

[megaleena.livejournal.com]

Poor Linnea, and you!
I hope she forgets about it soon, and that boy learns how to behave!

[tiggsybabes.livejournal.com]

Poor Linnea *hugs*

I witnessed a scene straight out of Lord of the Flies at our playzone about 2 years ago. I was there on a morning with Kate aged 4 & Holly as a baby. I was in the baby bit mostly with Holly & Kate was alternating being with us & going in the older bit. She's complained to me a couple of times about another girl pushing her, but as I didn't see it, I just told her to come back to me if it happened again. I then heard Kate crying (very loudly as the place has a high noise level) & charged over to the big bit. I actually saw a group of girls in a circle around Kate taking it in turns to push her. I shouted really loudly at them & worked out who the mother of the ringleader was & went over & shouted at her. She actually said it wasn't her problem & that I should complain to the management. I complained & just left & we didn't ever go back during the week. We occasionally go at weekends if the weather is bad, but only once every few months.

[jemstone.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear. :( I hope she recovers and knows that it wasn't her fault - the boys were being mean, and their ringleader (I hope) will be punished accordingly by his parents.

Kudos to you for your restraint, though. I've done far worse at my own restraint when dealing with similar situations regarding my siblings, or cousins, or the children of friends that I've been given charge of. I'm not sure I'd have made it out of the place without making a scene.

[pauamma]

*growl*

[micheinnz.livejournal.com]

Oh Jesus fuck.

For the record, I think you handled it beautifully. Poor Linnea and poor F!

[k425.livejournal.com]

That's dreadful! Poor L and F.

[khitomer.livejournal.com]

I hope Linnea's OK and that this doesn't put off mixing with other children.

I'll be honest, I'm not sure I could show the same restraint if I were a parent

[baratron.livejournal.com]

That's horrible! How much older was the boy?

btw, I have some awesome rice milk chocolate - have you ever had it? If not I'll put a bar in the post. Unfortunately, I can't seem to find the rice milk white chocolate any more :/

[ailbhe]

6 at the oldest. And no - what brand?