ailbhe | The state of the traumatic birth and PTSD (Reply)

As per the posts 23 Nov 2004, 12 Oct 2005, and 19 July 2006, it's time for what is probably the final update on this...

I have moderate intermittent physical pain in my vagina, perineum and rectum, unrelated to posture, activity, or other external factor.

I need manual intervention to go to the toilet, and a step really, really helps.

Waiting to go to the toilet is very painful, unless it's just because of a full bladder; I can't feel when I have a full bladder at all.

Going to the toilet is not painful. You have no idea how much nicer this makes my life.

No-one grabs my butt in an affectionate manner anymore; the habit had to be broken as it hurts too much.

My short-term memory loss is under control thanks to techniques I learned during CBT.

I am always, always sceptical when I hear that a woman is doing well postnatally, unless I hear from her her own self.

I have given up trying to have sex. What's the point risking that much pain if I can't even get pregnant? The whole thing is just awful.

I do not have flashbacks about the first birth.

I do not have panic attacks about medical, infant-related, or sexual things.

It may not seem like much, but those last two statements? There was a time when I couldn't imagine such a life. I do not have flashbacks or panic attacks. I can go to the toilet without pain. This is AMAZING.

Of course, I do get scar pain, and c-section scar pain, and I can't have sex. But hey, you win some you lose some. I can excrete!