Obsessed with death

[ailbhe]

Me, that is.

I have been lying awake wondering how to get two small children down an airplane escape chute. Do they let one adult take two children on a lap? Which led to remembering the only scene from Sophie's Choice I've seen; "Nehmen Sie das Mädchen." And then there was that Kevin book again.

I am really hoping to get over this soon. I know parents check on their sleeping children for years and years, but I sometimes panic, especially if one of them bumped their head shortly before bedtime, and have to make sure they're not dead.

It goes away quicker if I do go and check.

I wonder how much of it is needless paranoia, and how much is informed by knowing that Linnea did in fact stop breathing a lot as an infant?

Today she is painting large numbers - Numberjacks - and eating "nothing sandwiches," which are made of two slices of bread with mayonnaise or butter-substitute.

I've almost finished packing for our trip to Ireland. I think we'll be getting the coach to the airport; Rob and I have discussed the risks and safety measures we can take, and a bus is just a lot safer than a car, though somehow it doesn't feel like it when they're not in a buggy.

Comments

[clare-s.livejournal.com]

I have to confess I have had those thoughts in the past too. The feelings of getting on a plane, seeing where the exits are, planning on how I could get the children off as quickly as possible if I could not get off the plane. I also have it about being in the car and how I would get everyone out safely. I am guessing it is part of being a Mum although that doesn't help at 3am

[tiggsybabes.livejournal.com]

I'm ok at night, though I do of course check on my babies before I go to bed. I check on Holly if her nap time is longer than usual. She's dropped her naps now as she's 3, but napped yesterday afternoon & stayed asleep all night. I checked on her every hour or so until I went to bed myself to make suer she was still breathing.

[nwhyte]

I always go check on them rather than lie awake worrying. It takes two second and saves hours of insomnia.

[heraldis.livejournal.com]

ditto :)

[piqueen.livejournal.com]

I'm sure someone would help you by taking one of the babies on their lap off the plane. I know I would offer if I was in that situation and someone needed help.

I can't comment on the other things as I don't have babies but I know that my parents worried about having 3 small children between two adults every time we got on a boat or were in a crowd.

[(Anonymous)]

I had the unfortunate experience of finding my father dead. I haven't stopped panicking about the kids in just over 6 years yet! I still make them move in their sleep! I'm still planning emergency routes everywhere we go.
I stumbled onto your blog somehow (must have been an HE blog)--I've met you at Dylan and Rose's moms house.

[perceval.livejournal.com]

For me, these things come and go. When I was newly pg with #2 (who is due this March), I was worried sick about DD putting him into the washing machine and turning it on.

Or DD may be in danger, I only see it afterwards, and berate myself for it.

Or DD cries and cries inconsolably, and all I can think is "at least she's here, at least she's alive, at least we have her"