Nasty Lady

[ailbhe]

As we went into the supermarket today we passed a man sitting on a cardboard box on the ice, looking cold and dirty, with a blanket over his knees, begging. I got the kids into the warm and said "The first thing we do is we give that man some money." A woman popped up behind me and said "You shouldn't, he's smoking, if he can afford to smoke -"

I don't know what else she said because I got angry. I babbled something about knowing what it's like out there, and that people DIE of being poor and homeless. She went away. I gave the man some money. He was pathetically grateful.

And every time I saw her as we went around the shop I was a little bit frightened.

Who can look at a homeless person in this weather and not have the slightest bit of compassion? Who?

Comments

[nitoda]

Perhaps someone who has travelled on London rush hour trains and seen the same guys working them regularly ... with the same story ... I guess I don't know how to tell genuine needy cases from scammers and that makes it easier to shut down the compassion. If that makes me a horrible person, I'm sorry, but I can't help everyone that needs it, and I can't personally tell which beggars I *should* help, so I prefer to help via charities rather than directly. I'm also naiive enough (?) that I believe our welfare system should be able to help people who turn to them. I may be wrong in that, I haven't been there, and I hope I never will. I am willing to be educated on this.

[ailbhe]

I'd rather give a quid to someone who didn't need it than not give it to someone who does. There's no way to tell by seeing someone once that they are actually fine. I fainted on the street once and a woman told the two men who stopped to help me that they should leave me because I was probably on drugs. I wasn't; I'd been bleeding heavily for three weeks because of what I didn't know was a miscarriage. When I was homeless I used to make B&B bookings for other people because my accent meant no-one believed I was homeless - which meant no-one gave me any money, but the people who looked and sounded believably homeless couldn't get into safe B&Bs, only the horrendously dangerous hostels. So we'd partner up.

The welfare system only helps people who can prove they are deserving. In many cases, this means getting physically abused enough to qualify as battered - something very difficult for teenagers and women, and almost impossible for men.

Anyway, should isn't much use in the snow.

[nitoda]

Thank you. You've given me much to think about.