I understand the concepts behind your view, and as gmh, would readily agree that you are entitled to call yourself what you wish. It is fundamentally important that each individual has the freedom to call themselves what they want, so long as there is no intent to deceive or offend.
I made a clear decision to call myself Mrs M W, when it would have been far easier to retain my maiden name - which required no spelling out letter-by-letter over the telephone and was far easier for the average English person to pronounce.
As far as I am aware, this format is the correct style when addressing a married woman (perhaps one that is used when the preferred name is unknown, or where the married couple are being written to at the same time), according to Debretts (there used to be a copy of it in one of the offices where I worked, to be consulted when writing to an Archbishop, or baronet, and not knowing the correct mode of address). SFAIK, to be called Mrs VW would indicate (following those rules) that I was a widow (or possibly a divorcee).
In England and Wales, the registration of a civil partnership (which is I think the equivalent of what you describe) is a fairly recent innovation - there is no widely known convention for the description of either woman in a civil partnership. Perhaps a search of Debretts would give a suggested form?
The keyword I think is "convention" here. In Restoration England, adult women could be described as "Mrs" and only younger women and girls would be described as "Miss". This is the convention which applies, SFAIK in the Netherlands and Germany.
I know some women just see it as a benign British custom, and I would - assuming I was aware of their preferences - address them as they saw fit. (Under the Debretts rules, who is Mrs W?)
I don't know whether they're right according to Debretts, but the section of my family that sticks to the Mrs [husband's initial] [husband's surname] address would see this as being (a) incorrect, and therefore possibly rude; (b) ambiguous (can refer to any of the wives/widows/divorcees in the family with that name); (c) only to be used if you can't find out by any means what the husband's initial is; (d) less rude than using the wife's initial because that would mean that you thought that she was divorced.
expressing a profanity would definitely fall under that heading - I don't think there is much case law there to define where the boundaries are, though. There can't be many people who would consciously name themselves after something obscene or obviously offensive, can there?
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Mrs MW is my preferred choice, as it happens
Date: 2007-12-19 11:36 pm (UTC)I made a clear decision to call myself Mrs M W, when it would have been far easier to retain my maiden name - which required no spelling out letter-by-letter over the telephone and was far easier for the average English person to pronounce.
As far as I am aware, this format is the correct style when addressing a married woman (perhaps one that is used when the preferred name is unknown, or where the married couple are being written to at the same time), according to Debretts (there used to be a copy of it in one of the offices where I worked, to be consulted when writing to an Archbishop, or baronet, and not knowing the correct mode of address). SFAIK, to be called Mrs VW would indicate (following those rules) that I was a widow (or possibly a divorcee).
Re: Mrs MW is my preferred choice, as it happens
Date: 2007-12-19 11:47 pm (UTC)What, then, is the correct format when addressing a woman married to a woman? Do you address both women in the couple as "Mrs <partners name>"?
Re: Mrs MW is my preferred choice, as it happens
Date: 2007-12-20 02:20 pm (UTC)The keyword I think is "convention" here. In Restoration England, adult women could be described as "Mrs" and only younger women and girls would be described as "Miss". This is the convention which applies, SFAIK in the Netherlands and Germany.
Re: Mrs MW is my preferred choice, as it happens
Date: 2007-12-20 12:12 am (UTC)Re: Mrs MW is my preferred choice, as it happens
Date: 2007-12-20 09:41 am (UTC)Re: Mrs MW is my preferred choice, as it happens
Date: 2007-12-20 12:14 am (UTC)Re: Mrs MW is my preferred choice, as it happens
Date: 2007-12-20 02:13 pm (UTC)Re: Mrs MW is my preferred choice, as it happens
Date: 2007-12-20 05:15 pm (UTC)Re: Mrs MW is my preferred choice, as it happens
Date: 2007-12-22 04:54 pm (UTC)