Third Birthday Parties: Keeping up with the Joneses

[ailbhe]

In January there was one at a venue with softplay facilities (I was too ill to go). Last week there was one in someone's home with a local lagoon pool with wave machine hired for the second half (we attended the home bit but were too ill to go to the pool). Today there's one at a softplay venue with a Fimbles theme. Last week;s party had a real proper book in every party bag, and a very fancy multicoloured colouring pencil, and games with prizes, and smoked salmon sandwiches.

We were planning to have Linnea's in our own home, with plain sponge cake. However, one of the guests is allergic to cats, so we can't do that. Another guest is allergic to nuts. We're currently thinking of a picnic in the park, with a cake made by the woman at the Farmer's Market who also provides for the Workhouse Coffee Shop, but what if it rains?

The main problem is that although I have no objection to parties in venues, I don't like that they are becoming the baseline. These children are three years old. Most of them will play for hours with cardboard boxes or our out-of-tune piano. It seems very weird to organise activities for them, like pass the parcel which in general the parents have to play for the children, or lucky dips for exciting take-home party bags, or whatever.

Birthday parties happen in someone's home, in my universe, with the height of excitement being that there are junky fizzy drinks like Coke or, probably, Fanta, and cocktail sausages on sticks, and bowls of suspiciously orange crisps. The cat allergy makes this impossible - a 14-month-old can't just take antihistamines like an adult could. So there's a public park, which poses a toilet problem and a weather problem.

It has just occurred to me that I might be able to hire the local Bridge Hall. That might be perfect. I'll get back to you.

Comments

[k425.livejournal.com]

YoungBloke is 3 and we have a core of friends' whose parties we are invited to. Thus far, we have only attended one held at home. With no games. Loads of running around, and jelly and ice cream, and suspicious crisps, and little Marmite sandwiches.

All the others we've been to have been in venues. The local sports centre, which has a bouncy castle and soft-play area, is favourite, followed by the room over one of the local pubs. The catering tends to be home-made.

We have parties at home, with no games (because please, a three-year-old isn't really up to it, whatever the parents think), plenty of balloons (v popular with the autistic child), and traditional party food. Which will have to be gluten-free next year but that's a hurdle I can jump, I think. I do do party bags, with silly little things in.

More than one of my friends has said she's actually quite envious that we can have a little party at home. Because they're at home more than me, with a lot of trips to different play groups, they feel an obligation to invite the children of the parents they know, which means having a large venue. I have t3h social f34r when it comes to big does, so it'll be at home for as long as possible!

*embarrassed*

[k425.livejournal.com]

Don't ask me where that apostrophe in the first line came from.

Re: *embarrassed*

[ailbhe]

This is why I love you.

[ailbhe]

We were going to have it at home until the cat-allergy thing reared its ugly head. The local hall is a reasonable compromise, I think, and does mean we can multiply the guest list by about ten.

[merryhouse.livejournal.com]

games: quite right. We invited three sets of friends with similar-aged children over for tea for Christopher's 3rd birthday, and at the last minute invited the 3-month-younger twins across the road too. All 6 children played individually with the toys that were around the lounge, while the adults chatted, drank beer, nursed the babies or agonised about the cake (no, actually, that was the night before). At one point I said "right, now let's play Ring-a-ring-of-roses" because that was a nice easy one. Christopher enthusiastically took hold of my hand - and that was it. (His Tumble Tots training coming out there, I think.) The others completely ignored me ;-) So I sang it once with Christopher and then let them get on with enjoying themselves.

[tiggsybabes.livejournal.com]

We'd always had them at home until Kate was 4. I did consider a party at home, but she wanted to invite her entire nursery class & with my PND last year, I just couldn't get my head around organising it. I did one at the soft play place & did the same again this year for her 5th.

We went to a fisrt birthday party at a soft play place that I thought was OTT for that age group.

I wanted Kate to have her 5th birthday party at the local farm, where they can pat the animals & collect eggs as well as have tea in a barn & play games. She was enthuiastic for several months & then went off it as someone in her school class was negative about it.

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

When I was growing up, (I was one of five), we didn't get parties with school friends every year, just years when my mother felt able to cope with doing one each. We always got a special family supper on the day with cake though (special breakfast too, and presents in mum and dad's bed before breakfast).

When we did have a party with friends, it was either a home party with loot bags, or an excursion with no extra goodies. That seemed to be what other families did too. Before age 5 or 6, we didn't have parties with peers, just with grandma.

Would it be possible to schedule a picnic party weather-depending, with a rain-date chosen ahead of time?

[ailbhe]

I don't know what you mean by a rain-date chosen ahead of time. I think the local hall will help a lot if it's not terribly expensive - solves the cat-allergy issue without caving in to the Major Event Organised issue.

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

Yes, that sounds like a good solution all round.

I was just thinking that rather than plan "in the park, unless it rains in which case somewhere else", you could tell people "in the park Saturday, unless it rains in which case we'll try the next Saturday" or whatever.

[ailbhe]

Your weekends are far more casual than the people I know!

[rmc28]

Do what suits you and don't worry about it.

The "baseline" for lots of wedding receptions is a catered 4-course meal. We did something different and much more "us" (admittedly, it was inspired by a lovely wedding I went to) and every so often someone comments about how cool it was.

[ailbhe]

We're going to do what suits us and worry about it until it's over, I think ;)

[baratron.livejournal.com]

I can't work out why the parents are going for these expensive venues. Are they all so loaded with money that they can't imagine doing things another way? Or are they people with normal incomes trying to show off to other parents how much they "love" their kids by spending money on a party that the kid will almost certainly not remember in later life? Or is it simply that, despite being parents, they are somewhat afraid of having 6 or 10 or 15 three year olds in their precious house, and want to offload the childcare responsibility onto softplay venue staff who are trained in dealing with large quantities of young children?

It's sad that the potential guest's allergy stops you from having the type of party that you'd really like :(