School is not compulsory

[ailbhe]

We joined Education Otherwise, the UK's home education charity organisation support network thing, on Friday night, filling in an online form. The members' pack arrived today. It's a very good pack; I was impressed. We have a membership card, a list of local contacts, a list of national venues that give discounts to home educators similar to the discounts they give to schools, the newest edition of School Is Not Compulsory, a little handbook about the law and useful information for dealing with Local Education Authorities (where "dealing with" doesn't mean "being unnecessarily confrontational towards" but covers everything from "being benignly ignored by" through "working with" and on up to "fighting in the courts") and other stuff, and a newsletter - with a whole section by and for children.

That was a very very fast turnaround, I think. Mind you, the person in question processed our application at 00:42 on Saturday, so perhaps she got it posted Saturday morning.

So! Now we have a support network in place, which is nice, and I can get familiar with it before I actually need it much, and also we got a free book.

(On the other hand, we're not going anywhere today, because I overdid it at the weekend and caused my knees to swell up, my shoulders and chest to get sunburnt, and I think I strained my eyes in the sunshine. Linnea seems quite content to practice her Independent Play in the cool, dark indoors, though; all the windows and curtains are closed against the heat, due to get up to 32C today, and we're usually hotter here than the local forecast predicts).

Comments

[megaleena.livejournal.com]

That's really interestign to know, even as a non-parent. I guess it's such a 'norm' that kids go to school that you don't even consider that it's not actually the law to send them there!

[ailbhe]

Ah, my lovely mother (and a child called Sofia who had her very own donkey) made me aware of the possibility while I was still in primary school!

[megaleena.livejournal.com]

:D

Sorry to be nosy, but did you feel....ostracised at all? Or if you were were you really not bothered? Or did you live near loads of kids and were still friends with them anyway?

[ailbhe]

I was seriously ostracised throughout my 14 years attending normal state schools. Outside school, I had few friends, but they were good friends I was able to choose myself. My mother has often regretted not being able to take me out of school but at least she never tried to tell me she thought I ought to be happy there.

Rob had a fine primary school experience but secondary was, well, let's not go there. Outside school, he seems to have got on fine with pretty much everyone - I've met no-one, as far as I know, who dislikes Rob. He's that kind of bloke. Got hell at school.

[megaleena.livejournal.com]

Ah, I see. And, again sorry to be nosy but this really interests me, don't answer if I'm being rude, was it home educating you got, or did you go to a parent run school type affair?

[ailbhe]

I think you missed an important point - I spent 14 years, from 3 to 17, attending regular state schools. My mother was unable to remove me from the system, much as she wanted to.

Linnea is very like me, and I was very like my mother. Formal schooling doesn't suit us much at all. My mother and I had to endure it; I hope Linnea never will. ("Endure" means unwilling; if she chooses school, she's welcome to give me 5 mornings off a week!)

[megaleena.livejournal.com]

Oh gosh, sorry, I read that wrong. So you weren't allowed to leave? That's terrible! I can't think of anything moer frustrating than being ni a situation which you dislike, knowing tehre's a solution but not being able to take it.

[ailbhe]

After the custody case and before I was 16, we weren't even allowed to have me *change schools* lest my life be unnecessarily disrupted. It sucked mightily. But, you know, we all survived, though my mother only barely did, and she's totally in favour of my home edding my own kids if that's what seems like the best thing for them.

[megaleena.livejournal.com]

Urgh. I see why it's necessary to have those sorts of laws in place in case something *does* go wrong after custody is awarded but jeesh. Y'know, if you say you hate it at 15 3/4s how is that different to 16? A child, however young, knows if she really dislikes something and shoulf be listened to.

[perdita-x.livejournal.com]

I hope you have a better experience with EO than I did. In the first place they seemed very nice and helpful then turned out to be very citical of our lifestyle and family life. Also the "help network" was non-exsistant in Yorkshire..

[tiggsybabes.livejournal.com]

Is your local school no good? I did read up about parent run schools when Kate was a baby, but now I'd like her to go to the same place as the other local children (plus Holls too of course) so we fit in more. I'm not prepared to change who I am to fit in, as no-one else apart from me seems to read, watch Doctor Who, have online friends etc, but I'm happy for Kate & Holls to play with the local kids & to get to know their parents.

[ailbhe]

Oh, no, if I thought formal schooling was a good idea for Linnea I'd be perfectly happy to send her to the local schools. I've never been interested in sending children to school. I'd need to seriously change the kind of person I am and the way I want to raise my family to do that without the child's explicit request!

[tiggsybabes.livejournal.com]

Fair enough, I was hoping my comment didn't look like it was citisising, I was just curious. I may need to conside less conventional schooling if my children take after their father. He hated school & no idea why exactly, but ended up being sent to boarding school so he couldn't run away. He was very miserable there.

[ailbhe]

I didn't think you were criticising. A lot of people assume that home education must be a second choice, because of poor schools, rather than a first choice, regardless of local school quality.

[tiggsybabes.livejournal.com]

Admittedly, that's how I view it, as I don't know anyone who doe sit really, so don't know much about it. I know Livi home educated Trish & Sue at one point, but that's about it. I looked into parent run schools as I wasn't that fussed about the local schools where we used to live in Sheffield & we were looking into sending Kate to a private girl's school. I'm happy with the local schools here, so that's fine now.

[barakta]

If I had known about home-schooling I would have considered requesting it when I was a teenager. I hated secondary school, I was badly bullied both verbally and physically. My problem was that I was 'notorious', even when I was in yr 11 (15-16) little yr 7s would come up to me, spit at me and throw a string of abuse at me.

My parents wanted me to change schools, thinking that would change the problem. Another school might have admitted they had bullying at all, which might have helped, but I was still 'different' 'weird' and therefore 'bad'. I'd still have got the sneaky verbal and ostricisation "ewww I'm not working with her" "EWW she touched me" abuse. I refused to change schools because I knew the fundamental problem was me being myself which threatened the social structure inherent to formal education institutions. I might have done 'okay' in a deaf school (where disabilities are more common) but I would never have been permitted to attend one as my speech was too good. The education authority categorised my ability to hear entirely by my ability to speak!

I think many schools are damaging for people who are 'different' in any way from the herd. I don't believe any situation can get as bad as bullying-at-a-school because as an adult you know you have the right to walk away. Even the very very minor bullying would have been considered severe in a workplace, yet we expect our children to put up with that and worse on a daily basis!

I don't think I could send a child of mine to school unless as you say they specifically requested it. I believe individuals should be allowed to be different, and be respected for that, not oppressed and ridiculed! I look forward to reading you as time goes on and how Linnea and your new baby learn in the world around them.

[ailbhe]

Just to note your language usage - home-schooling implies a school-like situation at home, which isn't what I have in mind. I'm planning, inasmuch as I'm planning at all, to continue exactly as I am - let the child(ren) choose their interests, show them funky stuff occasionally, and encourage them to teach themselves the stuff that interests them. Child-led education. no formal tutoring. Etc etc.

As with all parenting plans, of course, We Shall See.

[barakta]

*nods*

I should have been clearer in my language, as I do understand the difference between home-schooling and child-led-education. I also agree with you that children will learn what they want to learn given a suitably stimulating and interesting environment to do it in.

Certainly not stressing children out and/or wasting their time in a school environment means they have more time and perhaps less reluctance to learn for themselves. I found school very tiring, and the balance problems I have now were caused by school and exacerbated by me having to use ALL my energy to hear teachers rather than learning in ways which are optimal to me.

One of the few things I enjoyed in my degree was doing my dissertation. 40 credits of mostly self-taught and produced work, with help/advice from tutors when I needed it. The topic of the dissertation was different learning styles and I learned more about myself than I ever have. Even if the rest of the degree was moderately dull and frustratingly useless for me in terms of employment the dissertation made it worthwhile.

I now know a lot more about how I learn best, and what things hinder that (too much hearing error) etc. I can take my educational experiences and work out what was good (dissertation, some classes) and what was just a tiring waste of time (maths, certain tutors). I am using the OU which is formal, but mainly as a structure and leaping off point. I ignore all the crap in the books which is annoying, work out what it is I need to know and teach myself MY way.

The OU is important to me in the longer term as I am not terribly employable as someone who doesn't use phones at all and has significant spoon-management issues. Not to mention a distinct lack of suitable experience - which is the grounds I usually get rejected from job interviews on. I hope with some science/chemistry qualifications I can do jobs I do want to do, where people don't care about whether I will use a phone or not.

[supermouse.livejournal.com]

There are schools, a very few, who take the same approach - one big building, various activities and the kids pick and choose, then have to demonstrate to their peers that they've learnt before graduating. There's at least one in Britain.

Unfortunately, I can't remember enough to google effectively and I'm feeling pretty bleagh, but if I get a brain and remember, I might look. Not to try to change your mind - I am all for you doing exactly as you want to, for one thing it's not my kid and for the other I love your approach - but because it's a whole school who does as you're doing, and it might have, I don't know, usefl information or something.

[ailbhe]

Yeah, they were on R4 the other day talking about it. I think there might be one with state funding and several parent-funded in the UK, but I'm not sure. None within non-car distance of here, though, and car use is a no-compromise situation for me :)

I do love that such schools exist, because it means that even people who *can't* SAHP, for whatever reason (whether temperament or economics), have access to child-led individualist education if their kid needs it.

Though, as usual, these things are for the already privileged, in general :(

[baratron.livejournal.com]

I'm sending you a newspaper article from the Sunday Times. And some chocolate from Belgium - it's quite sweet, dark, dairy-free chocolate with a vanilla cream centre, kinda like the Fry's Chocolate/Orange/Peppermint Creams only vanilla-flavoured instead!

The other flavours they do are pistachio, fruits of the forest (with little fruit pieces in, by the looks of things), and something I'm remembering as coffee but I could be wrong - but I don't know whether those are safe or not. Let me know if you like it and/or are interested in the other flavours, and I'll pick some up for you the next time I'm over.