Why I spent the last 2 hours feeling miserable and silly at the same time

[ailbhe]

Here I am, making up my menu plan and shopping list, blinking back the tears.

Why? Because we really cannot stretch to buying all our food in the highly ethical-consumer way we were until recently. We really, really can't. And I spent years working up to that level of knowing-my-food-was-clean and now I have to work back down again, not in a just-this-once way, but in a lifestyle change way.

It's so sad.

(Yes, other people have real problems, I know. One of the things I loved about not being poor, when I started to not be poor, was the choice to make ethical buying decisions).

I'm feeding our shopping list into online shopping services for the places we can't easily reach without the trike; in general, paying for delivery is cheaper than paying to get the bus.

(I actually just broke down and sobbed on Rob's shoulder; we used to use less meat per meal and the main result was that I didn't eat enough; our easiest money-saving option is for me to not eat enough and that's the first thing I tried, months ago, to save money; this is really, really broken - but so is the meat industry, and the fact that when I'm vegetarian I get sick).

We are, actually, of above average means. I'm just... cracked in places.

Comments

[mrs-redboots.livejournal.com]

Fair enough (fish being meat, I mean!). You will find, I suspect, as we have, that as you get older you'll need a lot less - which is no consolation here and now, I agree.