Why I spent the last 2 hours feeling miserable and silly at the same time

[ailbhe]

Here I am, making up my menu plan and shopping list, blinking back the tears.

Why? Because we really cannot stretch to buying all our food in the highly ethical-consumer way we were until recently. We really, really can't. And I spent years working up to that level of knowing-my-food-was-clean and now I have to work back down again, not in a just-this-once way, but in a lifestyle change way.

It's so sad.

(Yes, other people have real problems, I know. One of the things I loved about not being poor, when I started to not be poor, was the choice to make ethical buying decisions).

I'm feeding our shopping list into online shopping services for the places we can't easily reach without the trike; in general, paying for delivery is cheaper than paying to get the bus.

(I actually just broke down and sobbed on Rob's shoulder; we used to use less meat per meal and the main result was that I didn't eat enough; our easiest money-saving option is for me to not eat enough and that's the first thing I tried, months ago, to save money; this is really, really broken - but so is the meat industry, and the fact that when I'm vegetarian I get sick).

We are, actually, of above average means. I'm just... cracked in places.

Comments

[rmc28]

I really sympathise and you shouldn't feel silly about being upset about having to compromise your principles.

I want to add myself to the list of the people inspired by your openness about ethical consumption; I don't think I ever have managed to be as thorough about it as you, but we do try, and because of you we know more of the options.

On home delivery, I've ordered with Ocado a couple of times; they spam me a bit, but they claim to be "greener than walking to the supermarket" and I'm happier spending money with the John Lewis partnership than I am with Tesco. Sometimes it even works out cheaper ;)

[clare-s.livejournal.com]

A friend of mine always shops with Waitrose (IIRC Ocado uses their groceries) because she believes their meat to be of better quality, more ethical and more locally sourced. I haven't personally seen the evidence for this but she is an ethical consumer I believe.

On the original point I think you are right to put your health first despite it not being as ethical as you would like. At least with a food shop you can decide on an item by item basis to get the best balance of nutrition and ethics which is, I am sure, what you are doing.

Have you been to the GP and had a good check over to make sure there is nothing there that needs treating medically ? I cannot recall the exact symptoms you had but I have a feeling some of them fit with a B12 deficiency.