![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ailbheHere I am, making up my menu plan and shopping list, blinking back the tears.
Why? Because we really cannot stretch to buying all our food in the highly ethical-consumer way we were until recently. We really, really can't. And I spent years working up to that level of knowing-my-food-was-clean and now I have to work back down again, not in a just-this-once way, but in a lifestyle change way.
It's so sad.
(Yes, other people have real problems, I know. One of the things I loved about not being poor, when I started to not be poor, was the choice to make ethical buying decisions).
I'm feeding our shopping list into online shopping services for the places we can't easily reach without the trike; in general, paying for delivery is cheaper than paying to get the bus.
(I actually just broke down and sobbed on Rob's shoulder; we used to use less meat per meal and the main result was that I didn't eat enough; our easiest money-saving option is for me to not eat enough and that's the first thing I tried, months ago, to save money; this is really, really broken - but so is the meat industry, and the fact that when I'm vegetarian I get sick).
We are, actually, of above average means. I'm just... cracked in places.
Why? Because we really cannot stretch to buying all our food in the highly ethical-consumer way we were until recently. We really, really can't. And I spent years working up to that level of knowing-my-food-was-clean and now I have to work back down again, not in a just-this-once way, but in a lifestyle change way.
It's so sad.
(Yes, other people have real problems, I know. One of the things I loved about not being poor, when I started to not be poor, was the choice to make ethical buying decisions).
I'm feeding our shopping list into online shopping services for the places we can't easily reach without the trike; in general, paying for delivery is cheaper than paying to get the bus.
(I actually just broke down and sobbed on Rob's shoulder; we used to use less meat per meal and the main result was that I didn't eat enough; our easiest money-saving option is for me to not eat enough and that's the first thing I tried, months ago, to save money; this is really, really broken - but so is the meat industry, and the fact that when I'm vegetarian I get sick).
We are, actually, of above average means. I'm just... cracked in places.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-19 10:41 pm (UTC)Does it help that the decisions aren't all-or-nothing? That maybe you can still get some of the best-sourced food, and some of the not-the-best but not-the-worst? Or that some of the stuff you're giving up might still be special treats?
Does it help your conscience that you've already made lots of readers more aware of the potential choices and options? I loved reading when you were measuring water use for washing up vs dishwasher, and I also found your posts about helping at the, I'm sorry I forget the name but some kind of food co-op, kind of inspiring. I also really admire the way you balance your kids' dietary restrictions, ethical food, and the pragmatics of sometimes being stuck with hungry kids away from home.
Also, does paying for deliveries sometimes mean that your time required is just to be stuck home that day, in comparison to having to arrange a bus excursion for three or four with enough extra carrying power for the shopping? Delivery is probably a pretty good environmental choice, since the truck would be going round to lots of people.