Ohhhhhhhkay

[ailbhe]

I posted in a community asking for help dealing with the c-section looming large in my future (only 16 weeks to go, folks) and I got about 20 supportive and helpful comments.

And one story of a woman who had similar injuries to mine and then had a homebirth with no tearing at all. Of a 9lb baby, and I'm unlikely to have any babies that small, but even so.

Dear Universe, please, stop making that one comment so much bigger than all the other ones. Please. It's not really.

Comments

[batswing.livejournal.com]

I have never given birth so I cannot give you anything but platitudes.

Her situation is not your situation. Trust yourself on this. It's always served you well and it will now.

[flybabydizzy.livejournal.com]

That's quite a good platitude!
Honestly, tho, Ailbhe, I read that post, and it was second hand. If I were to describe your birth injuries, then they would include the muscle damage, too, which this other woman did not mention. Also, from what I remember, she said her friend was repaired immediately, and we know how possible that wasnt for you.
on the sling issue, look out for Y online, and ask her. She has 2 stretchy hoops of fabric, worn in various ways, When I went to see her, she was 4 weeks post emergency c section, wearing 9lb+ baby in this setup, and pushing a buggy. OK, she didnt have previous damage, or bad shoulders, but it shows possibilites. She didnt manage to tandem nurse, as toddler just stopped nursing of her own accord mid pregnanacy

[datagoddess.livejournal.com]

Exactly - her situation is not your situation, and it's possible that her injuries were different from yours and it's not worth risking your emotional and physical health on what someone on Teh Innerweb is saying. You have no way of gauging her situation as compared to hers objectively.

My mom had 2 c-sections and couldn't breastfeed either of us (her meds were passed through milk, and giving infants phenobarbitol is BAD) and my brother and I turned out fine, and so did she.

[nex0s.livejournal.com]

what soaring_phoenix said, combined with: it's from the internet and it's a story that someone wrote. there's no way to verify that it's true, and besides which: your midwife didn't tell you this, your doctor didn't tell you this, and you know the extent of your injuries.

frankly, i'd be very frightened for your sanity if chose NOT to have a C Section, because of the extent of your injuries.

n.

[random-c.livejournal.com]

...similar in the same way a paper cut is like chopping the end of your finger off?

[pauamma]

OK, I'm gonna add one comment to the five. Your baby will be fine, and the birth will be fine. Everything else is secondary. You are doing the best thing, both for youself and for your second child. Just remember that. :-)

[ms-interpret.livejournal.com]

I just had a c-section (april 1), and I can tell you, they aren't as bad as everyone says. Or at least mine wasn't. And mine was after 16 hours of horrible labour and 2 hours of pushing. Plus a head and chest cold. Sure, it hurts after (talk over pain relief with your doctor *beforehand* especially if you can't take codeine - and try not to have a hacking cough that pulls on the incision *wry smile*), but honestly, for me, it wasn't that much worse than the vaginal birth I had with my daughter.

I don't know about your injuries, but I do know that some people are just way too anti-c-section, and will do anything to convince you that it's not the right thing to do.

Good luck

[hitchhiker.livejournal.com]

forgive me if this is intrusive (and feel free to say so if it is), but why do you attach so much weight to delivering the baby vaginally?

[ailbhe]

Ahahahahahahahahahaha!

It could take YEARS of therapy to find out. Partially because that's the way my body is supposed to work, and as soon as it failed first time, I thought, well next time will be better, and...

Partially because a vaginal delivery is better for the baby, usually; it helps clear the lungs and intestines out, it's slower, it allows the baby to detach from the placenta at a more natural pace.

Partially because a vaginal delivery could happen in the comfort and privacy of my own home, with one or two trusted carers, and a section HAS to happen in an operating theatre with a cast of thousands (well, at least four).

Partially because a normal vaginal delivery is much, much easier to recover from.

Partially because with a vaginal delivery, I'd know the baby was cooked - with this section I have to try very hard to schedule it for *before* labour starts *at all* so I will have no idea whether it's the right time or not.

And partially because I really, really hate catheters.

[hitchhiker.livejournal.com]

It could take YEARS of therapy to find out. Partially because that's the way my body is supposed to work, and as soon as it failed first time, I thought, well next time will be better, and...

that was my guess, but i didn't want to assume anything.

Partially because a normal vaginal delivery is much, much easier to recover from.

that one surprised me - i guess i was subconsciously thinking of a c-section as a routine, easily recovered from operation.

And partially because I really, really hate catheters.

*wince* yes, there is that.

I hope it at least goes better than you fear it will. *hug*

[iuil.livejournal.com]

i guess i was subconsciously thinking of a c-section as a routine, easily recovered from operation.


A section is major abdominal surgery - the same muscles etc as are cut in a hysterectomy and no-one considers that to be routine or easily recovered from.

[hitchhiker.livejournal.com]

*nod* it was more ignorance than anything else.

[heraldis.livejournal.com]

I have no idea if the following sentiment will help you at all, but it helped me, so here goes. Please delete or ignore if this is inappropriate to you, I'm not lecturing, more repeating the lecture I give myself!

After my second emergancy c-section, I was devastated that I can't do what most women seem to do so easily, which is give birth. I had a good wail at my lovely GP, and she said the following, plus I've added bits:

I could give birth naturally, but it would take a very long time, a week or more in heavy labour (24 hours nearly finished me off), and the chances of the baby surviving it would be much reduced. You could give birth naturally, yes, but the chances of you _or_ the baby surviving it will be way reduced. In countries where there's no option, the maternal death rate is terrifying. (Chad is 1 in 11).
The section is not just for you, or the new, as yet unknown baby, it's for Linnea. Even if you give birth vaginally and survive (which with our medicine is fairly likely) the damage _you_ will probably endure is defintiely going to take a lot longer to recover from than a section!

One other thing. You are going to shout for your rights this time. I did that for my second and it was a 1000% better experience, I was really very, very surprised at the difference, it can happen, c-section can be okay.

[ailbhe]

My sister is an archaeologist who recently had to supervise the categorisation of skeletons from a very early cemetery. A lot of the post-pubertal females had babies in Linnea's position stuck in their pelvises.

1 in 11 sounds very plausible.

[nicolechan.livejournal.com]

As far as a vaginal being easier to recover from... well with your first birth, I'd say a cs is easier. You delivered vaginally, but it didnt work in your favor.

Then concerning catheter, can you request that they put one in after your epi takes effect? They did this for me and I never felt anything. They also removed it before I was completely un numb. I mean, I could move and such, but I didnt really feel the removal.

[iuil.livejournal.com]

Hearsay is inadmissable as evidence in a court of law for good reason - facts get mangled.

You know you've done the research, sought opinions etc from outside sources and at the end of the day that you are making the right choice for you. But even the slightest glimmer of a light will beckon seductively, even it turns out to be a raging forest fire.

[bookwitch.livejournal.com]

I have no experience with C-sections (managed to narrowly avoid one), but I wanted to wish you luck.

[clare-s.livejournal.com]

giving birth vaginally does not make you a Mum. What makes you a Mum is the love and nurture you give to a child. The first decision in all of this is whether you have a Section or not. In your case what are your options ? think carefully about this.... you have said about the recovery time vaginal versus section and the childs safety. The facts you have stated are very true for the general population but are they true for you and your situation. Would a section take that much longer to recover from than YOUR vaginal birth ? I find it difficult to believe. You medically need this section we are not talking of too posh to push stuff we are talking about a medical NEED for you and your baby.

Of course as women we focus on our failures and self define in this way, so the comments which do feel like 'could have do better' take on huge importance (I have this all the time with bf discussions).

9lb baby that small !!! OMG how big was Linnea ?

[ailbhe]

9lb 14oz without mecounium - she passed *no* meconium after birth, it was all inside me. And second babies are very often larger.

[clare-s.livejournal.com]

Wow ! and here I am wondering if this next baby of mine will manage to reach 7lbs.

[perceval.livejournal.com]

You are making an informed choice that will benefit both you and your baby.

What helped me was talking to an experienced obs/gyn who had felt privileged to assist in Caesarean births, the knowledge of the alternatives (smashing a baby's skull, anyone?????) pre-C/S, and knowledge of the procedure.

[ailbhe]

As per http://ailbhe.livejournal.com/342899.html?thread=1588339#t1588339

"My sister is an archaeologist who recently had to supervise the categorisation of skeletons from a very early cemetery. A lot of the post-pubertal females had babies in Linnea's position stuck in their pelvises."