Yummy Mummy

[ailbhe]

What the hell is a Yummy Mummy? Is it like a Breeder? Or a Moo? Am I one? Some days I look very smart, well, maybe not smart, but funky as hell, with excellent jeans and orange tshirt and tie-dye headscarf and a daughter in orange and tie-dye looking very coordinated and slightly piratical, and her buggy has a funky coloured polyester cosytoes and we swan around the shops buying organic this and fairtrade that and recycled the other, looking at amusing socks and stopping for lunch in the park or maybe in Pret if I have Luncheon Vouchers and I generally feel top of the world and leisurely and very, very trendy and young. And rich, on those days, because I never actually want to buy anything I can't afford, on those days.

And some days - today is one of them - my hair is greasy and my clothes have poo-stains and my eyes are sunken and I have circles around them from crying so much. But my daughter still has a homecooked organic produce banana muffin for her snack. And I hosted the NCT toddler coffee and no-one realised how truly manky I am. And the house is hoovered and I have plans for dinner and I'm still knitting this winter coat for the baby, I think it's 38 rows now but I'm not sure. I look like hell and I've been picking a spot on my chin until it bleeds and I am beginning to fear for the stability of my marriage and I probably have PMS as well.

So what's a yummy mummy? Does anyone ever say anything including the phrase "yummy mummy" without being massively patronising? Ever? And how can you tell when you've seen one? How can you tell it's not just me on a good day? And how the hell else can I keep some sense of identity, if I can't even try to look mildly fabulous without being lumped in with idle ladies who lunch?

Oh, yes, sorry, I forgot, I don't work. I forgot.

Comments

[shinydan.livejournal.com]

I thought it was a euphemism for "MILF" to be honest. Not sure that's patronising, but it's definitely demeaning.

shinyDAn

[ailbhe]

MILF?

[micheinnz.livejournal.com]

"Mother I'd Like to Fuck".

I kid you not.