I never could get the hang of Thursdays

[ailbhe]

Thursday

I started planning this journal entry on Thursday, as a summary of my day - Thursday, that is - but I got distracted by Thursday happening to me in a prolonged and relentless fashion.

Thursday's actual entry covered the afternoon and evening. but the day started far earlier than that. First, there waa a bright light, and someone hit me - Linnea's skull rammed into my nose, I know not whence, and we all woke up. Then I had a PMS-fuelled morning-kindled row with Rob and an appointment with the GP I complained about having to see before - the new one, not the one I asked to see,and not my own GP who is on maternity leave. Thanks to the row with Rob and the PMS, I had mild hysterics in her office, and repeated myself a lot.

I remembered to say that I didn't think my expectations were too high, in a world with sex reassignment surgery, and that I was only 26, only 26, and my husband is only 30, and we can't have sex dammit, and we want more babies, and I can't go swimming because I can't use a tampon but no-one thinks that that's important, but we can't have sex, and that's not normal, and if he thinks my expectations are too high he's just wrong, and that's all there is to it, so please write to the gynaecologist now please thank you please.

She had to get them to give her my notes, since she didn't already have them when I arrived (What?! is that normal?! my real doctor always had them!) but she is going to write to the gynaecologist. She seemed quite anxious that I might not go to the colo-rectal specialist and I was careful to point out, while sweating and sniffing and trying not to cry too much, that I was doing everything I was told to do and I was just trying to also make sure I did everything I thought I ought to do in addition as well. With underlining.

Further bulletins as events warrant. (Place that quote).

Later, Linnea decided that my day was dull, drab, and wretched (she was right) and needed brightening up (she was wrong). She chose yellow and orange as a surprise nappy brightener. However, in other Linnea news, last week I cut every single one of Linnea's nails, meaning that they have all been cut no more than 28 days since their last cut. Those of you intimately acquainted with Linnea will understand why this is a major parental achievement, and those of you who aren't can just take my word for it the same as you always do.

Tuesday

Pre-op went ok I suppose. I chickened out of asking them if I could have Linnea with me for feeding her but they estimate that I will be there about six hours so it should be ok. They were quite nice this time about my warning them that if my PTSD kicks in I might do all sorts of unpredictable things. They also warned me that I will be in pain after the procedure and should be sure to have paracetemol at home. I will have my nice prescription codeine, I think. I cannot imagine being in a fit mental state to deal with rectal pain due to external interference. I really can't. So I'm not going to.

Rob's parents are coming on Sunday and staying over to care for Linnea while we're in hospital. I'm hoping they will bring her to hospital with us in the morning so that I can feed her just before I go into the ward at 07:30, and then Rob can call them when I'm coming up and I can feed her again. I'll have to grill the anaesthetist on breastfeeding after the drugs, of course. It's highly likely to be fine once I'm able to stand and walk etc though.

Now all I need to worry about is not dying in theatre. Rob swears up and down he'll tell Linnea how much I love her. But who will tell Rob?

Comments

[griffen.livejournal.com]

Aw, hon... you will be fine. Rob knows you love him. Linnea knows you love her. And you will be fine.

Sending calming surgery vibes to you posthaste. *hugs*

[bookwitch.livejournal.com]

I'm WAAAAY behind in reading.
But I wanted to pop in and tell you I'm thinking about you.

[baratron.livejournal.com]

Apparently when I was born pretty much the first thing they had to do was cut my fingernails.

I can't help with the other thing, you know I'm pretty stressed about it myself :/ But I can wish you good luck, if nothing else.

[beaq.livejournal.com]

Many twelve hugs. Fourteen.

[nex0s.livejournal.com]

yes! that!

also, if anything happens (g-d forbid), i promise i'll email rob and let him know that you love him :)

n.

[tiggsybabes.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I lie at night worrying sometimes that I'll die & my gorgeous babies won't have a mummy. I really must write them a letter each while we're away so they can see for themselves how much I do when they're old enough to read them properly.

Hunt's luck for the surgery :)

Re: I never could get the hang of Thursdays

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

lots of us would tell rob should it become necessary.

but it won't. no dying! not allowed!

Re: I never could get the hang of Thursdays

[micheinnz.livejournal.com]

Yes. What the fishie said. No dying! Don't make me come over there!

[pauamma]

Don't die. If you do, I'll have to hurt you.

[k425.livejournal.com]

1. GP - well, thank goodness she took you seriously. It's horrid to get to the crying stage, but for some reason it can make a difference. And you may have repeated yourself but you got the important stuff across.

2. The nails. Hate it. So does YoungBloke. I reckon I'm winning if I can manage one hand a fortnight. As long as I can get them clipped before he scratches other children at nursery I'm ahead of the game.

3. Pain. There's no point, no point at all, in suffering. As soon as you are able, even if you don't think it's too bad, take your painkillers. Not being in pain keeps you relaxed so the pain takes longer to get you. Being in pain tenses you so the pain comes on faster and feels worse. It might be worth getting something for piles (oh, crikey, did you get any of that gel after you had L, with local anaesthetic in? See if someone can get you some of that, otherwise Germoloids has local anaesthetic in).

4. BF post anaesthetic. I had a gastroscopy in Feb, with IV valium. The anaesthetist first said no BF for 24 hours. Then reduced it to overnight. I spoke to my friend the obstetrician who said that since YB was over a year and therefore not feeding so frequently and was bigger, my best bet would be to pump and dump the first two hours post-op and then I'd be okay. Thinking about it, women breastfeed after a caesarian so ask the anaesthetist if he'll use whatever he'd use for a section.

5. Rob would be told, were anything to happen to you.

6. Thinking of you.

[talimena.livejournal.com]

Good luck, and no dying.

(I think I've commented before, if not: Hi. I've been enjoying reading your journal and Linnea stories.