So tired, I may well be officially dead

[ailbhe]

We went to CCDE, it was good but totally different to or from my previous CCDE experiences, we got back, I am incredibly tired and have been taking antihistamines to combat the huge swelling insect bites. The one on my foot is particularly annoying but it's down to a dull painful itch now, and the swelling is minimal, so hurrah hurrah for drugs.

I am even more tired now than before my supposedly restful weekend. Thank all the gods that Rob was working from home today; I would not have been safe to supervise a baby, not even as docile and sedentary a baby as Linnea.

I cancelled my dentist appointment today, it's rescheduled for the end of the month. Tomorrow we go for the pre-op appointment for my exam under general anaesthetic. I'm pretending as hard as I can not to be afraid of the general now - it looks like I will just have to get used to them and suck it up and deal. But if I die, um, could someone please publish the pomes anyway and give the money to a worthy charity, like a birth trauma one or a breastfeeding promotion one or something?

I'm just tired. I'm not even having a general tomorrow - it's not until next week. I will compose a more suitable Farewell Cruel World post closer to the time, I suppose. I did last time, for Linnea - a post about how happy I was and how much I loved her, as I recall.

Do normal people feel this way about this kind of loss of control?

Comments

[rosefox]

you're not really under but you don't remember what happens

Oh my goodness that would freak me out so much. It's hard enough for me to trust my memory as it is. I am not about to let anyone deliberately sabotage it.