Nappies and talking

[ailbhe]

It occurred to me, today, that we have been misjudging all those mothers in the 1950s who slapped their daughters' hands away from their vulvas, crying "No! Dirty! Mustn't touch!" (read your Nancy Friday).

Maybe they weren't lunatic anti-sex frigid oppressors. Maybe they just hadn't washed all the poo off yet. Because I had a bit of serious hand-containment to do today, and I felt bad that I might be sexually repressing her even at this early age. I read far too much popular psychology and self-help as a teenager. And someone should write something about the epidemics of Maternal Paranoia and Feminine Self-Doubt.

Also, it's hard to change a nappy by an open window when there are planes overhead; she wriggles over, "Da! Da!" and points at the ceiling, "Da! Da!" and tries to see.

And today she said something that means "Garden". All the consonants are a variant of D, but the vowels were unmistakeable. When I asked her if she wanted to go into the garden, to check I'd understood it, she said "Ya!"

She says "Allo" a lot, too - sometimes the L is there, sometimes it's not. L is hard.

(And I have apologised to Rob for talking about his penis in my last entry. He says he doesn't mind.)

Comments

[richtermom.livejournal.com]

I figure hey, she gets to poke around at the rest of her body all the rest of the time, so when we're changing a diaper, I just allocate an extra baby wipe for her hands alone, and when we get out of the tub we do a little dance and I hold her up, naked, to the mirror so she can get a good eyeful. OOOOH, DANCY NAKED BABY, OOOOO! LOOK AT THAT TUMMY! OOOOOH! EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE NAKED AND SQUEAKY!

And she's so funny about noises, she doesn't need to be near a window. We'll be on the couch boobing and #pop# she comes off and gets that look on her face. Airplain! or #pop# Kitty! She doesn't use the words, but you just know what's on her mind....

[rivka.livejournal.com]

I felt bad that I might be sexually repressing her even at this early age. I read far too much popular psychology and self-help as a teenager. And someone should write something about the epidemics of Maternal Paranoia and Feminine Self-Doubt.

I'm reading a book called Parents who think too much, which might fit the bill. It's quite good.

[ailbhe]

Sounds excellent (and that you linked to the uk site is yet another reason I love you). I am lucky in that I act first, analyze later - and am as likely to decide that the guilt is misplaced as not. But stopping altogether would be fab.

I also have Dr Sears "Little Angels" because La Leche offered it. It's pretty good. That is, I keep agreeing with it, which seems to be the benchmark for whether I think a parenting book is good or not...

[k425.livejournal.com]

Your benchmark is also my benchmark!

I sometimes think, when I find myself worrying about stuff (and yes, stopping YoungBloke attempting to play with his penis when he's had a blow-out nappy is one of the things I worry about), that it's the good parents that worry. Often about small stuff that, in the overall run of things, doesn't matter, but even so.

good parents worrying

[(Anonymous)]

I read somewhere (no I can't quote it... Mr Hallett will never be friends with me) that someone did a study and reckoned that this is actually true. In a sense, they said, it doesn't matter *what* you decide to do, it's the wanting and attempting to do it right that makes the difference.

(And yes, the best books agree with me. Obviously. Starting with Three in a Bed and carrying on from there.)

LBs

Julie