Coming to terms

[ailbhe]

I'm beginning to come to terms with this.

On the one hand, I honestly thought - and was told, by several people who ought to know - that I had a real chance of my next child being born normally, without masses of intervention, without over 36 hours of labour, like normal people do it.

On the other, I have never met someone who had a c-section that resulted in as much physical trauma as the vaginal delivery I had did, and I've certainly never met someone whose c-section had such a dramatic long-term effect on their overall health.

I've heard a few things about planned c-sections which sound fantastic, though the whole no food bit is unpleasant. I'm sure it must be easier to get a spinal right first time without contractions every 2 minutes, for example. And then there's the complications with the catheter, which just wouldn't happen with a c-section (you don't want to know. Trust me). I don't like catheters.

I saw women who'd had c-sections walking around the maternity ward a day or two after delivering. Most of them were fit to leave 3 days after the birth of their baby.

Linnea was never intended to be an only child. I thought I might have to go through all this again, and I was resigned to that. Even I had thought that I would do it the hard way only once more, and request c-sections if the next one was just as bad.

So I'm coming to terms with this.

Comments

[tiggsybabes.livejournal.com]

Speaking from someone who had an epidural & emergency c-section.

The most unpleasant part was having the epidural with the contractions as you said. I was told not to move in case I damaged my spinal cord & was told to bite down on the plastic mouthpiece from the gas & air thing & to scream. I certainly screamed!

The actual operation was "fine" I felt nothing & discharged myself after 2 days.

My stitches healed up with no problems.

[clanwilliam.livejournal.com]

Remember, everything else about your pregancy went well - it was just the end of the pregnancy that was horrible. And there's a straightforward solution to that, which, because it's planned, will be as non-traumatic as possible.

*Because* it's planned, it's going to be much easier for you - your doctors will know well in advance that you're due a C-section; you won't get the panic of an emergency one and the added stress of it; and your recovery time will be much quicker as well, because your body won't have had to go through the stress of trying to give birth vaginally before being whisked off for an emergency op.

Yes, you're going to have stitches, but at least they're not going to be right where you sit!

[uitlander]

Absolutely. You've got the time now to come to terms with the idea. The people I know who've had c-sections have all said its fine. The only ones who were upset were some of the ones thath had to have emergency ones, so they didn't have time to mentally recalibrate. They've given you that time.

Next time during pregnancy you'll be on familiar territory. You'll recognise things and go 'oh yes' rather than wondering whether it is something you've read about.

Anything that makes a birth les traumatic for you and the baby has to be a good thing.

[marlespo.livejournal.com]

I am finding comfort in the idea of having a planned c-section next time. At first I was angry that really it was my only choice, but now I feel like it will be the best way. There will be a date in mind, since they have to schedule you in, and so it is a concrete thing to deal with rather than the waiting and potential panicking of labor. Mostly though, I find comfort in knowing that it will be NOTHING like my first experience. And your c-section will be nothing like your first experience. I have many friends who have had c-sections. Yes their recovery time is a bit longer in the hospital - but it certainly isn't the months and months like you and I are experiencing. I think a c-section will make a world of difference to you, as I think it will to me. It is planned, controlled, and honestly - the "wound" is something a lot easier to take care of and more visibly obvious.

MASSIVE hugs to you again, through all of this. Massive.

[k425.livejournal.com]

I was going to post after your previous entry, but didn't get around to it. So what I was going to say was this.

I'm really, really sorry that you can't have another natural birth now. And I know people will point out the positive things, but I won't. Because in your shoes I would want the opportunity to grieve for what I've lost. And then I would find it easier to come to terms with things.

[porcinea.livejournal.com]

I'm still angry about my own experience, last Jan. I hope I'm working through it by the time I do this again.

[micheinnz.livejournal.com]

I've had a planned Caesarean section. Women who are up and about within 24 hours tend to have an easier recovery than women who are not.

If you want to discuss the Caesar experience in detail I'd be happy to do so, here or elsewhere.