Thinking about rape
Aug. 4th, 2009 10:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ailbheAfter finishing the grocery shopping today I came home and had a cup of tea and read a few things online, including the following two posts:
http://fugitivus.wordpress.com/2009/06/26/another-post-about-rape-3/
http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/08/why-not.html
... and now I just want to mention what I was thinking as I walked to and from the market. I went the shortest route, in one official entrance to the local train station, over the bridge, and out the other official way. The latter way is a pleasant, shady, tree-lined path, with bushes all down the railway embankment to the tracks, and a fence and wall on the other side, higher than my head. There are two slight corners so you can't always see the whole way along the path - depends on the thickness of the leaves. It's very quiet, and pleasant, and lovely in summer, and Rob and I were delighted to discover that it's a much quicker, shorter way to get to the market than our usual routes.
Today I did it with Emer, and the buggy, because she wanted to come with me. And as we approached the path I automatically thought "I'll get her out of the buggy, so that if anyone attacks me she can run away, she can run back to the woman waiting on the bench, and if they don't have her I can fight, I wonder will she run if I tell her to or will she wait for me, if she's frightened she might freeze, maybe she'll just run," and then we were out of the blind spot and the shade and could see the road and passing cars and things again. She enjoyed her walk and picked up two leaves, and we sang some songs, too.
On the way home I took her out of the buggy and unfastened the straps at the front of my rucksack so that I could get it off if I needed to run or fight.
I haven't been raped for many years now. But I know now that I could fight - and that I might hurt my children thereby.
Damn.
http://fugitivus.wordpress.com/2009/06/26/another-post-about-rape-3/
http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/08/why-not.html
... and now I just want to mention what I was thinking as I walked to and from the market. I went the shortest route, in one official entrance to the local train station, over the bridge, and out the other official way. The latter way is a pleasant, shady, tree-lined path, with bushes all down the railway embankment to the tracks, and a fence and wall on the other side, higher than my head. There are two slight corners so you can't always see the whole way along the path - depends on the thickness of the leaves. It's very quiet, and pleasant, and lovely in summer, and Rob and I were delighted to discover that it's a much quicker, shorter way to get to the market than our usual routes.
Today I did it with Emer, and the buggy, because she wanted to come with me. And as we approached the path I automatically thought "I'll get her out of the buggy, so that if anyone attacks me she can run away, she can run back to the woman waiting on the bench, and if they don't have her I can fight, I wonder will she run if I tell her to or will she wait for me, if she's frightened she might freeze, maybe she'll just run," and then we were out of the blind spot and the shade and could see the road and passing cars and things again. She enjoyed her walk and picked up two leaves, and we sang some songs, too.
On the way home I took her out of the buggy and unfastened the straps at the front of my rucksack so that I could get it off if I needed to run or fight.
I haven't been raped for many years now. But I know now that I could fight - and that I might hurt my children thereby.
Damn.