Poll: Do I ... too much?

[ailbhe]

Pick one options for that kind of answer, comments for the other kinds of answers. I think too much, is what.


[Poll #110817]

Comments

Although...

[darthfi.livejournal.com]

...if you do dump Rob, can I have him? He'd make a lovely bookend with Gideon. I'd muck out his stable every day and everything.

Oops, wrong species.

Re: Although...

[ailbhe]

Are you sure he's the wrong species? He mucked out the laundry basket today; it was pretty mucky.

Oh, alright, different muck.

A.

[(Anonymous)]

Wait until the wedding is paid for, then quit my job

Do I do too much? no

Do I whinge too much? no - and besides whinging is interesting!

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

dang. the last question should've had a "who am i to judge" option! :)

[redbird]

The third question needs an "other", something like "forget the wedding, just live in sin" or "elope to Sweden with Rob and forget about wedding planning" or "tell Rob that I can't plan a wedding, so if he wants anything formal it's up to him, otherwise we go to the registry office."

[sashajwolf.livejournal.com]

I'd have liked that option too. However, I ticked "tell my work I won't learn to drive", because I think it's important for people's mental health that they not act against their principles. I do also think that it would probably be a good idea to look at having a smaller-scale wedding. From your last post, it might also be worth looking at why you both feel that the distribution of household responsibilities is unfair at the moment - it actually looks quite reasonable to me from the outside.

[ailbhe]

why you both feel that the distribution of household responsibilities is unfair at the moment - it actually looks quite reasonable to me from the outside.

For me, I think it's just existential guilt, the low-lying, low-flying kind.

For Rob, I think it's because he can't see the work that goes into organising, and he knows that he earns waaaay more than I do, even if his job is easier for him than my job is for me.

[sashajwolf.livejournal.com]

he knows that he earns waaaay more than I do, even if his job is easier for him than my job is for me

But then it comes down to how a person's contribution to a household is to be measured. Personally, I prefer to go by time and energy expended rather than cash brought in. Your job seems to be costing you plenty of both, as does the organisational stuff.

[(Anonymous)]

> Do I do too much?

No you "work" too much. There's a difference.

You pour your heart and soul into the job because you want to do the best you can and in the end you don't get respect from the company (you get respect from your team - which isn't the same thing), you are unhappy and you don't have anything left to give to anyone else (including yourself sometimes) and as you said yourself it's draining.

> What should I do next?

From a selfish (as in yourself) standpoint?

Quit the job as soon as you think you can.

It's taking too much out of you. Partly because you're giving so much of yourself to it. Find something less demanding and/or more fun. A company that actually respects it's staff. Yes, I'm well aware very few of those sort of companies seem to exist but they /are/ out there.

Either that or try to be more relaxed in your job. Give them as much as they pay for and nothing more. Leave at 5. It's your right (It's in your contract). Take the breaks your entitled to, regardless of work outstanding. Think "I, Ailbhe, am worth more than my job". Councilors call it 'work life balance' and all work and no life makes Alibhe a tired/stressed/un-happy girl (to paraphrase and overused cliche). If the work doesn't get done that's the company's fault for not providing enough staff/resources. Sure they can fire you, *shrug* these things happen. You can deal with that if/when it happens. Ask yourself aren't /you/, isn’t your mental or emotional, not to mention physical health, worth it?

Honestly. You rule your job, don't let the job rule you. Which is what it sounds like it is doing at present. You certainly have the skills to do anything else you want to, why ruin yourself over a misplaced sense of loyalty? Loyalty, as I see it, is reserved for people not ideas (which is all a corporation really is)

I know that a selfish attitude doesn't naturally become you. But you asked for feedback so there it is.

HTH

A Nonny Moose

P.S. Feel free to ignore any/all of this message. Just my views.