More on the Work Ethic

[ailbhe]

So it seems that other people think I'm not lazy.

My friend says that I care too much about the job - whatever the job may be. That I need to learn not to care. I think she's right; I do care about getting a good job done, and I get frustrated when other people make that impossible, especially if I end up getting blamed for other people's mistakes or neglect.

So, how does one stop caring?

Comments

Re: More on the Work Ethic

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

well, i disagree with the opinion that you need to stop caring -- heck, i know that is the reason for why a lot of people do a shoddy job to begin with.

but i think it's possible to do one's own work well, regardless of what others do, and to be proud of that without being driven nuts by other people. maybe what you need to do is generally look a lot less at other people. and i've just read how much you hate job hunting, but IMO it's really important to look for the right kind of job, with the sort of people one can in general respect. and if that's hard, well, yeah, but to me it's better than letting a bad job erode you slowly. cause that's what it seems it's doing, from the outside at least.

maybe one solution is to find something you really love and see whether you can turn that into an income, working for yourself.

maybe another solution would be temping (though that might be too hard for you, but on the other hand it might teach you to not let your fears rule you so much).

maybe yet another way may be to find like-minded people in the same organization you're in now, and to support each other more.

i know attitude adjustment can be very hard, but to me it's what often makes the difference between whether i feel hateful when i come home after dealing with something, or relatively calm -- i am determined not to sweat small stuff, and in the grand scheme of things, lazy people at work are small stuff. compared to my general well-being and my close relationships, they don't really matter. i taught myself not to care too much about them, to just care about the job i am doing. i used my black sense of humour for that, and small sort-of-mantras whenever somebody would really get on my nerves. heck, nobody know my thoughts so i can think really nasty or funny things and distract myself from their crap. i try to turn the negative stuff they spew at me into something that quietly amuses me. for a while i wrote about that sort of stuff, humourously sarcastic, which was fun. and over time all this worked, even though i felt really silly at the start.

-piranha

Re: More on the Work Ethic

[ailbhe]

> temping (though that might be too hard for you, but on the other hand it might
> teach you to not let your fears rule you so much

Aha. This is probably the bit that makes me view the whole response so negatively.
It really smarts to see something like that, given how many of my fears I have
overcome, one way or another. And I have, to be honest. I've bitten more bullets
than I can count at this stage. I'll try to answer the rest of it without being
completely negative though. Let me know how I do.

> i think it's possible to do one's own work well, regardless of what others do,
> and to be proud of that without being driven nuts by other people. maybe what
> you need to do is generally look a lot less at other people.

I think that the trouble is, when my job - which is basically to get things from
A to B - gets stuck, it is always (and I really do mean always) because someone
else is holding things up at C. I reach a point where no matter what I do, someone
else is able to prevent me from getting my job done. This bites me. I need to learn
to take situations like this and really believe, on a gut level, that it's not my
fault and that there is nothing I can do.

> look for the right kind of job, with the sort of people one can in general respect

Hmm. Ye-es. I've never had any real idea (at least, the ideas I had turned out to be
incorrect) about what the "right" job for me might be. I like getting things from A
to B. And I work near some great people. I just don't actually work _with_ the
great people, often.

My boss is great. He's the second truly great boss I've ever had, and he's the best
of the two.

The people I sit near, who are technically my colleagues, but since we work on
different projects they're not the people I work _with_, are quite good; they find it
amusing when I look at a ringing phone and say "No, go away, I don't want to talk to
you. *pick up* Good afternoon, Ailbhe speaking, how can I help you?" in vicious and
sweet tones. They are even beginning to come to terms with my habit of explaining
what I'd like to do to people; it usually starts with acid baths and dismemberment,
and sometimes involves angry kittens in confined spaces.

Caring less about the negative impact other people have on my professional reputation
would help a great deal, yes. The day hasn't come when I can deliberately do less than
my best in paid employment.

Soon, of course, I will be able to have babies and then I won't have to work, with
any luck. Or at least, if I do, it'll be for living on, not for luxuries.

I'll keep thinking. 'preciate the responses I get, mind you.

A.

Re: More on the Work Ethic

[sashajwolf.livejournal.com]

I think that the trouble is, when my job - which is basically to get things from
A to B - gets stuck, it is always (and I really do mean always) because someone
else is holding things up at C. I reach a point where no matter what I do, someone
else is able to prevent me from getting my job done.

Could you redefine what you consider to be "your job", perhaps to read something like "My job is to remove all the obstacles between A and B that are within my control. Removing the obstacle at C is not within my control, and therefore not my job, so I won't stress about it, because my job is already done"?

Re: More on the Work Ethic

[ailbhe]

Hmm. My official job description should differ from my internal one, you mean? that might help.

I'm also going to talk, soon, to my Team Leader about job descriptions and process outlines and delineating areas of responsibility.

Re: More on the Work Ethic

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

hm. i think i don't see it quite as negative as you do, since there was a time when i had overcome a lot of my fears, but was still ruled by the rest of the lot too much for my own good. that didn't mean i hadn't worked hard, and it didn't mean that the work didn't count, just that i was still not always doing what was best/better for me, in some situations, and did myself no good by giving in to the fears.

but i am sorry it struck such a bad chord in you, that was definitely not intentional. i have by no means the notion that you're a quivering mouse in a corner. :) (and i think you did great in your reply considering you felt so negatively about it; had you not mentioned it, i wouldn't have noticed anything.)

...

it is IMO definitely not your fault if you can't get things from A to B if somebody else is holding up an integral part of it, and yeah, i think it'd be a good idea to develop a more detailed image of your job performance, instead of holding yourself responsible for an end result you cannot achieve because of other people. as long as your boss knows what's up, it is basically out of your hands -- this is what managers are there for.

whether there is nothing you can do at all, though, that probably depends on a lot of things, and i know nothing about your job, so i would only have guesses. maybe there is nothing, that does happen.

but ok, some wild-assed guesses:

asking the boss whether something can be done about switching things around so you're not always waiting on somebody else.

talking with the people who are holding up things and finding out whether you can help in some way to get them unstuck.