So, about that weekend...
Sep. 30th, 2002 12:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ailbheIt was ok. I made it, anyway. Late Friday night someone suggested to me that I should quit and find a new job, because work isn't supposed ot be as stressful as it is to me. This brought on a bunch of issues; I loathe looking for work, I loathe interviews, I loathe starting a new job, I loathe meeting new people unless I get to vet them first online.
I also get very stressed working with incompetent people.
I think I'm going to be stuck with it, though. I talked it over with Rob; he has never known me to have a job that didn't stress me due to the incompetence and unreliability of others. I think it's just one of those things. I don't actually like having a job; it's not that I'm lazy - I check with Rob, and he says I'm not lazy, as far as he can tell. Not habitually, anyway. I just don't like going to a workplace every day, being with people I don't know very well and can't talk to, and doing something basically pointless in order to earn money that provides luxuries. I like the luxuries, but not enough to feel satisfied at working for them.
I didn't realise this for years; I've always assumed that I wanted to work. I didn't; I wanted to be independent. Now I know that I can be, I don't feel so burnt up about it.
My current workplace could be much worse. Yes, I have lousy days and come home ready to kill or bite bottletops, but I also work in an environment where I can tell people, as I hang up the phone saying sweetly "Thanks for your call; I'll get back to you as soon as possible!", that I'd really like to dismember the caller in qestion and feed zir to a rabid mongrel dog. Also, I can wear whatever I like. Also, I can walk to work in 20 minutes, a great bonus in the dark mornings of winter - it gets me out of doors, and it increases my chances of seeing daylight.
Plus the thought of chaing jobs makes me want to wet myself with terror. I am too tired to go another 6 months without a week off. I am too tired to get to know whole new bunch of people. I am too damn tired to deal with interviews and ironing and dressing up, and I don't have the skills on my CV to go to interviews where I don't need to dress up.
I feel like I "should" be looking for another job, because the person who told me I should is so sensible and intelligent and almost always right. But I don't want to. A lot. Not even to make zir happy, which is usually a fairly high priority for me.
Feh.
I also get very stressed working with incompetent people.
I think I'm going to be stuck with it, though. I talked it over with Rob; he has never known me to have a job that didn't stress me due to the incompetence and unreliability of others. I think it's just one of those things. I don't actually like having a job; it's not that I'm lazy - I check with Rob, and he says I'm not lazy, as far as he can tell. Not habitually, anyway. I just don't like going to a workplace every day, being with people I don't know very well and can't talk to, and doing something basically pointless in order to earn money that provides luxuries. I like the luxuries, but not enough to feel satisfied at working for them.
I didn't realise this for years; I've always assumed that I wanted to work. I didn't; I wanted to be independent. Now I know that I can be, I don't feel so burnt up about it.
My current workplace could be much worse. Yes, I have lousy days and come home ready to kill or bite bottletops, but I also work in an environment where I can tell people, as I hang up the phone saying sweetly "Thanks for your call; I'll get back to you as soon as possible!", that I'd really like to dismember the caller in qestion and feed zir to a rabid mongrel dog. Also, I can wear whatever I like. Also, I can walk to work in 20 minutes, a great bonus in the dark mornings of winter - it gets me out of doors, and it increases my chances of seeing daylight.
Plus the thought of chaing jobs makes me want to wet myself with terror. I am too tired to go another 6 months without a week off. I am too tired to get to know whole new bunch of people. I am too damn tired to deal with interviews and ironing and dressing up, and I don't have the skills on my CV to go to interviews where I don't need to dress up.
I feel like I "should" be looking for another job, because the person who told me I should is so sensible and intelligent and almost always right. But I don't want to. A lot. Not even to make zir happy, which is usually a fairly high priority for me.
Feh.
(no subject)
Date: 2002-10-01 04:08 am (UTC)