Managing Money

[ailbhe]

Some people are good at it, some people are ok as long as there's plenty of money, and some people are dreadful at it. I have never really worked out what makes people so. I know people from poor backgrounds and wealthy backgrounds in all categories, as well as people from varying degrees of comfortable backgrounds.

Some people seem to learn to manage money by living in fear of poverty (raises hand) and some people seem to learn by good example (raises hand) and some people seem to learn by being involved in the financial planning and management of their families as they grow up (like good example but more hands-on) (raises hand again) and most people probably have some combination of all three going on.

But the part I can't work out is what makes people who know what bad management does, up to a point (a point between stress and hunger, say) nonetheless continue to manage badly. What do Groups A, B and C learn which group D can't seem to? Let's not assume that group D are delusional, or want to rely on other people in their lives to pick up the pieces - let's assume that their desire and intention is to be able to spend only 252 pence in the guinea and not forever hanker after the half-a-crown that isn't there.

Comments

Re: Long comment is long

[the0lady.livejournal.com]

OK, pop theory completely unsubstantiated by any data time:

Do we think that perhaps the difference in education comes from the sex mix in the family?

My mom taught me and my sister exactly the same things that yours taught you, though she glossed over the detail which later became a problem. So we're both reasonably OK with money most of the time, or at least able to take hard knocks and learn to be smarter.

My dad has one brother, and both of them, having grown up in abject poverty, are really, really careful with money.

My ex has one sister, and she is the chalk to his self destructive and profligate cheese. Presumably your brother grew up to be less responsible than you and your sister.

So is it the case that, like housework, when there are girls in the family they get handed down all the home and family making wisdom, but in the abcense of daughters mothers pass on more of their knowledge to their sons?

Re: Long comment is long

[redshira.livejournal.com]

My brother's upbringing was substantially different to mine and my sister's for various reasons, but I think you're onto something there. My mum tried to make sure he would never rely on women to do his cooking, housework etc so he's well-versed in all that, and I had the raising of him for the most part until he was about eight or nine so he had a pretty good foundation in not being an arse, but he's led a charmed and privileged life - due in small part to my ex-stepdad having major problems with girls and women but not boys - so he has absorbed some unfortunate attitudes. Anecdotally, all the only-child men I know are much better with stuff that's traditionally been regarded as girl's business, as are the eldest-child men, particularly those whose next sibling was a brother or who were significantly older than the next child.