Feelign so rubbish

[ailbhe]

I do hope that soon I stop needing to write down what I achieve every day. I feel so rubbish so much of the time.

Emptied, refilled, ran, re-emptied dishwasher
Did two loads of laundry
Hung two loads of laundry to dry
Brought in one load of laundry from the line
Changed three astonishing nappies and a couple of ordinary ones
Got self and Astrid dressed
Fed self and Astrid breakfast
Facilitated breakfast for the other two
Took meds
Had orange juice, coffee, and tea, so far
Put away the dressing up clothes to find floorspace in the front room

13:30
Dried a drainer full of dishes and put them away
Washed a basinful of handwash dishes, chopping boards etc
Made lunch for all four of us, ate lunch

Comments

[sfred]

Sorry you're feeling so rubbish.
Thinking of you.

[nakedfaery.livejournal.com]

I wish I did this. I feel rubbish a lot of the time too and it's nice to be good to yourself and remind yourself that stuff does get done when there is so much pressure to be super woman.

[ailbhe]

"Ate breakfast, ate snack, brushed teeth, made a person."

[cabbagemedley.livejournal.com]

I honestly can't express how much more you achieve in a day than I do. This is not what rubbish looks like.

[ailbhe]

Heh. I didn't achieve any Making Art, which I really, really want to. It has fallen by the wayside while we're in chaos, basically. But it will come back one day.

[cabbagemedley.livejournal.com]

I hope it comes back soon. Making stuff leaves me the happiest I've been for about twenty years, I think.

[merryhouse.livejournal.com]

Of course, the trouble with all this is that it has to be done again. You can't point to A Thing and say there! washing up has Been Done. You spend your day doing tasks that are largely invisible and never end.

It doesn't help that many of them are pretty tedious in and of themselves, of course. I don't think anyone ever described washing up as an academically challenging activity (not even the Brownie handbook with its cute little picture to remind you what order to do things in).

[ailbhe]

The annoying thing is that they are tedious but they are not wholly unskilled; it is possible to wash up really, really badly. It's just not interesting to do it well, much.

[cabbagemedley.livejournal.com]

the Brownie handbook with its cute little picture to remind you what order to do things in

God, does it really have that? I was never a Brownie so I missed out on these joys. I am all anarchic when it comes to washing up and do the pans first because they bug me most, then change the water for cutlery and glasses (as I always end up changing it anyway, can't bear floaty crumbs).

[ailbhe]

Heh, I learned to wash up in a water shortage. It leads to... Principles.

[mamallama2.livejournal.com]

I probably should start doing this, too. Because most of the time, I feel like i'm failing at everything, and this may help me see that I actually do get things done, even if it's not everything i wanted to get done in the first place!

[ai731.livejournal.com]

I'm currently using a system whereby I have a jar of dried beans, with a pretty little ceramic bowl sitting next to it. Every time I do a task during the day (fold the laundry, walk the dog, make the dinner - even the smalls ones, like "put away the sleeping bags that have been sitting out for 2 weeks," etc.) I take a bean from the jar and put it in the bowl. Then, when I feel like I've done nothing all day, I can look at the bowl of beans and reassure myself that I *have* been accomplishing things.

[ailbhe]

I have a nasty feeling that the way I've been feeling, I'd use lentils in a washing up bowl. Self-sabotage is the new self-awareness, or something.

You'd like our pantry now.

[mamallama2.livejournal.com]

That's awesome too! a visual show of your productivity/awesomeness... I like that! :0)

[ailbhe]

It's the other way around - when I feel better, I don't find myself linking my self-worth to doing things.

As to whether they'll remember tidying up - they'd remember if they lived in a dirty house without space to do fun stuff where everything was broken all the time. I do.