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"In fifteen years time, you'll really enjoy dancing in your nightie to 'A Woman's Heart' while sorting damp laundry. No, really."
Aug. 8th, 2008
Period pains
Aug. 8th, 2008 12:00 pmI don't get period pain. Right now, that's because I'm not having a period, but in general, it's because I don't get period pain. I get mild cramping, and sort it out with paracetamol and hot baths.
But I used to get pain. I used to get pain that made me fall over in public places, curl up and scream at home. I used to get waves of nausea and agonising cramps. I spent afternoons in school sitting in the secretary's office in tears, trying to keep a straight face while teachers came in and asked what I was doing there on their way to the photocopier (the only teacher who was totally unsympathetic about both this and my depression has since committed suicide - she claimed depression was always fake and I should learn to live with it, like she had. Hmm). I can remember my mother anxiously following me around the flat as I crawled around the floor trying to crawl away from the pain. We couldn't afford a doctor at the time and non-prescription painkillers, hot water bottles and massage didn't help at all. My mother was pretty worried because she'd never had period pain herself and didn't take it for granted like I and my sisters did.
I don't get period pain now. I am deeply, deeply grateful. And with the NHS, I will never be in my mother's position, watching my daughters in unbearable pain and powerless to help.
Sometimes, I am struck by how lucky I am. I am wallowing in privilege.
But I used to get pain. I used to get pain that made me fall over in public places, curl up and scream at home. I used to get waves of nausea and agonising cramps. I spent afternoons in school sitting in the secretary's office in tears, trying to keep a straight face while teachers came in and asked what I was doing there on their way to the photocopier (the only teacher who was totally unsympathetic about both this and my depression has since committed suicide - she claimed depression was always fake and I should learn to live with it, like she had. Hmm). I can remember my mother anxiously following me around the flat as I crawled around the floor trying to crawl away from the pain. We couldn't afford a doctor at the time and non-prescription painkillers, hot water bottles and massage didn't help at all. My mother was pretty worried because she'd never had period pain herself and didn't take it for granted like I and my sisters did.
I don't get period pain now. I am deeply, deeply grateful. And with the NHS, I will never be in my mother's position, watching my daughters in unbearable pain and powerless to help.
Sometimes, I am struck by how lucky I am. I am wallowing in privilege.
I heard today of another acquaintance and child of an acquaintance who recently had a miscarriage.
Would the universe please take note, I am about done with this now. If women are going to lose their babies so much, could you please figure out some nice reabsorption method and stop with the hCG thing so that at least they don't have to know about it? It's grossly unfair and unkind.
And it's too damn sad.
Would the universe please take note, I am about done with this now. If women are going to lose their babies so much, could you please figure out some nice reabsorption method and stop with the hCG thing so that at least they don't have to know about it? It's grossly unfair and unkind.
And it's too damn sad.