I feel squashed

Crossposted to plan_survive

I asked on a midwifery mailing list for recommendations of books with detailed information on c-sections. Most of the people on this list know my history, but someone who obviously didn't has emailed me to say "Have you considered a vaginal birth instead? Don't you know it's safer for mother and baby in more than 95% of cases?"

Before I could stop myself I answered with a big list of all my excuses for not having a vaginal birth this time.

And every single one felt like an excuse, not a reason, as I wrote it.

Is this normal? Am I the only person who tries to assume that people are doing what they are doing because it's the best option available to them, rather than because they're feckless idiots who can't be arsed to do things The Right Way? I know I don't always succeed in that assumption, but I try to.

I feel squashed. And guilty again, and I'm sick of feeling guilty about Linnea's birth. It's 9 days to her second birthday. *sulk*

It's coming home!

Our trike is coming home tomorrow. Rob is going in to his Swedish lesson in the morning, then walking over to the shop, collecting the trike, and cycling it to Paddington Station. then he has to hang around waiting for a train on which he is allowed to transport it. He'll probably have to pay a fare, but he hasn't checked which trains or what the rules are, so he's going to play it by ear.

It is covered by our insurance, though. So that's good :)

Meanwhile, I will be at home with Linnea, waiting for the midwife.

Today has been a good day, by the way - I was going to do housework, but Linnea said "Mammy, make-a biccit" so we made gingerbread men instead. That was fantastic fun and took ages. Then after Rob came home he mixed a batch of banana muffins in the blender and I spooned them into mini muffin cases; they're in the oven now.

Another thing we did today was to call Nana; I phoned while Linnea was eating her lunch, and then Linnea phoned back because she'd accidentally hung up mid-babble. It was very cute watching her wait for the phone to be answered at the other end; I heard the ringing stop, and then Linnea said "Nana! Yotsa pictures! Fowers! White a yellow!" just as though there'd been no interruption.

Yesterday's lunch was amusing too. We had boiled eggs; I took the top off mine, and let her have a go at hers, then took the top off hers, and we sat eating them companionably. Then she reached down and picked up the top of her egg and bit into it, like a biscuit. She tried very very hard to chew the shell, and refused to spit it out, mainly, I think, because I couldn't help laughing at her. So then I deshelled the rest of her egg and let her at it, but she clearly wasn't having fun any more.

That Woman

Now she hopes my section is planned for 39 weeks or later, as statistically babies born by c/s earlier than that are 80% more likely to go into special care.

I answered

As gestation in my family is 37 weeks *as* term, and labour started then last time, it will be planned for term according to my medical history, not random statistics. I *have* thought about this, you know.

Was I very far out of line? She did mean to be helpful.