(no subject)

Today went well - I have a period, so I missed the first day of Linnea's new term of swimming lessons. In theory I could just take the codeine I still have and use a tampon and go, but in practice this is all a bit much to face. So I stayed home and played with Linnea instead.

She eats apples now. It's tremendous fun. She holds up this thing the proportionate size of a melon and gnashes the whitest, straightest teeth you ever saw and chomps in. And she plays hide-and-seek around me - or around guests - and is delighted when she finds me, or I find her. She particularly likes it when I hide somewhere unmotherlike, such as under the table.

She loves being pinned down and having her tummy snuzzled into, and I can't think of a better legal way to get an instant mood-lifter.

Today the NCT coffee group met in my house and we were discussing birth, as we so often do, and I remarked that next time will be easier because I'll have a c-section, and someone said that a c-section would be harder. I had no patience left and snapped "Well, I saw women with c-sections walk the day they delivered, and sit up in bed and drink tea, even, so." I left it at "so" because my dialect likes that. I now think I ought to apologise.

Also, My Infertile Friend came over. She's great, I love her, and one reason is that I am able to say "Hey, you're the infertile one. It took me more than twice as long as you to get pregnant the first time, and you're well along in your second pregnancy and I haven't even been able to think about deciding when I want a second one because it's out of the question for now. Why are you the infertile one and not me?" She think that this is a reasonable question and didn't punch me in the nose. Because actually, she *is* infertile, in her own special way, and I'm not, really. If I had an unlimited pain threshold, I could have delivered my second baby by now, and be wondering about the third. Or fourth, if the second one was twins.

I am very angry with the universe. But there's fresh bread cooling in the breadmaker, so you never know, I may regain sanity soon. I've had about a hundredweight of chocolate already, which probably helps.

Oh - and have I ever mentioned how much I love Cynthia Heimel?