Ooops, here I go again...

I'm Ailbhe, and I'm not coping.

Hi, Ailbhe.

Yesterday evening's episode of The Archers included a labour and birth scene. The Archers was on at 19:00, and I finally got to bed, shaking and sniffling, at about 4 am when Linnea woke for a feed. In the middle, sometime around 2 am, there was a big meltdown, with me crying all over every online forum I could think of, because I had enough sanity left to know that I couldn't wake Rob without waking Linnea, and anyway, if Rob got enough sleep today would be easier.

Thanks, folks. Being talked through calm breathing, sharing a glass of port with someone at the end of a bunch of electrons, and having people tell me all about their housework routines really helped.

Today went rather better, but I am still crying a lot. It's probably partially because I'm overdue a period, and partially because of Linnea's birthday, coming soon to a 30th April near you. The plan is to overwrite all the icky memories with nice ones this year, so that next year is unmixed delight and rapture, cavorting in spring meadows and gambolling in seasonal-for-the-UK snow (unseasonal spring snow is season weather here; I don't know why it surprises people so much).

Of course, bidding on comfy nursing bras on Ebay helps too.