The Big Book of Parenthood: Your toddler at ten months

What to expect this month:

You're kidding, right? Expect? How long have you been a parent? After the first week you should have realised that you are way, way out of your depth here, and if you can keep afloat here and now, that's all you should expect of yourself. Stick with what you know.

Toddling might explain the temper tantrums, though. And you'd better come up with a way of dealing with people who get your back up by saying that she's not very bright is she because at that stage (toddling) their friend's neighbour's baby was able to (talk, feed themselves, hang-glide, solve the Times crossword - pick one).

What to expect next month:

Talking, feeding herself, hang-gliding, solving the Times crossword, herding pigs in the corner of the bedroom and adopting stray crocodiles. They're going to be sleeping in your bed, too, so buy a waterproof sheet.